Learn You Inside Out
by frayedattheends
Summary: AU Brittana. Santana has agreed to leave New York City and house sit for her abuela in Ohio for two months. She doesn't know how anyone could possibly live there, and she's sure she's going to die of boredom. That is until she discovers a beautiful waitress named Brittany in a diner. A waitress who has quite a bit of baggage. More than Santana could ever anticipate.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Expanding from a piece I wrote in my series of shorts _Songs About Us_.

* * *

She's bored. Two days into her two month stay in Lima, and she's already bored senseless. She's not too sure how she's gonna make it through, but she's keeping her eye on that final prize. Two long relaxing weeks in Hawaii. That's what her parents are bribing her with for house-sitting for her abuela while the woman visits their family in the Dominican Republic. No, it's not exactly what she imagined she would be doing with herself right after graduating college, but at least she gets something out of it.

Santana Lopez isn't used to small towns like this, but then again being born and raised in New York City, every town is small to her. She's pretty sure she would die if her parents hadn't moved away before she was born and had raised her here instead. It was bad enough that she had to spend two weeks a summer here until she was thirteen, as well as every Christmas. How many times had her parents and abuela fought over the idea of the woman moving in with them in New York? Or at least coming to _them_ for the holidays? She's not even sure why they kept trying. The old bat would never leave Lima, especially not to live in the same apartment as her daughter-in-law and _lesbian_ granddaughter. Sure she had come to terms with it more over the years, hello she's letting Santana live in her house, but she still never acknowledges it. Santana would care, but she's not particularly close to her abuela and doesn't have the best memories of her. Or of being in Lima.

This place she remembers though. She's in a small diner a few blocks from her abeula's where they used to walk to sometimes for meals. She remembers loving it when she was a kid, but that could be because she was allowed to eat a cheeseburger and fries instead of whatever Abuela cooked.

Right now? She's not so sure _why_ she loved it. She's poking at her tuna sandwich with a fork. She really doesn't want to put it in her mouth. And the coffee? Definitely not Starbucks, but a lot cheaper than the Lima Bean. She sighs and brings the cup to her lips. Whatever, it beats her having to cook for herself. Which, let's face it, isn't gonna happen. Not unless it's something she can pop in the microwave. She doesn't (can't) cook . So after a couple of days she remembered the diner they used to go to and she walked over for lunch, and here she is. Poking at a disgusting tuna salad sandwich and waiting for time to pass her by. It's not like she has much else to do. Remember? Small town. Bored. She's pretty sure she _actually_ caught herself counting blades of grass. So sitting around this diner is more excitement than she's had all day.

She's glancing up from her food poking and coffee drinking to watch the strange locals around the diner when the door opens with a chime. Yes, the door has a bell on it. How podunk can you get? Her gaze goes to the door as she catches a flash of blonde hair run through it and around the counter into the kitchen.

"Late! I know! I'm so so sorry!" These words are shouted out as the blur runs by. Santana looks around to see no one has glanced up, and no one looks surprised. She snorts and turns back to her coffee and people watching.

She's interrupted moments later. "Refill? Oh god, you're not actually going to eat that are you?" The words come out worried more so than disgusted. Santana turns and finds herself staring up at a gorgeous blonde waitress who's struggling to tie her apron around her waist. Her hair is slipping from a messy, rushed ponytail and she's staring down at the tuna sandwich with a slight pout. Like a sad pout. Like she feels bad for the sandwich itself.

Santana frowns down at the plate. "I was going to, but I can't bring myself to actually do it," she replies. She does a quick once over of the woman. Impressive. Really, really impressive. Blonde hair, long legs, and incredibly blue eyes. Santana's stuck on those eyes for a little longer than she probably should be.

"Don't do it. Noah likes to scare away visitors who don't know better by serving them the tuna. I can't believe they brought it to you." The waitress leans over and picks up the plate while Santana leans back a bit in the booth, because wow she's really close and smells kind of amazing. She watches the blonde step back, plate in hand. "Something else?"

That was a lot of information at once, and her brain is already frozen from the sudden appearance of this woman in her day. "Oh, uh..salad?"

"Salad is good," she nods. "Anything but the tuna. And more coffee?"

"More coffee," Santana confirms with a nod. Right, words are back. This is good.

The waitress finally has her apron straight and she pulls a name tag out to clip on. Brittany. Okay, Brittany. There's no way this girl is from Lima. For one, Santana would have discovered her a long time ago (she can't help it, she has a knack for finding all the hot girls), and two...it's impossible that Lima grows women like this. Completely impossible.

Brittany gives her a bright grin and turns to walk away. "Be right back."

Oh please, yes. Come right back as many times as possible. Santana's eyes linger for a moment on the hips swaying their way away from her and she bites the smile coming onto her lips. Best. Diner. Ever.

"Here you go." The waitress appears at Santana's side again moments later with a coffee pot in her hand, and Santana tilts a flirtatious smile up at her as she pushes her cup forward.

"Thanks," Santana says sweetly. Brittany tilts the coffee pot over the empty cup and the hot coffee sloshes everywhere _around_ the cup, including on Santana. Santana is too busy looking up at those sharp blue eyes to see it coming and shrieks when the hot coffee hits her. "Watch it!"

Brittany jumps back with one hand coming up to her mouth. "Oh! Oh god! I'm so sorry!"

Santana is already grabbing napkins to wipe herself down. The coffee had splattered on her arm and it's starting to drip off the table onto her lap. She quickly jumps out of the booth, a slight glare on Brittany, and moves off to the bathroom grumbling. She goes in and right over to the sink where she grabs paper towels and turns on the water to clean herself off. Luckily, the girl didn't get much coffee on her skirt. She's not so sure decent dry cleaning can be easy to find around here. _Ugh_. She tosses the wet, dirty towels into the trash can and heads back over to her booth. She slows as she sees Brittany bent over the table, wiping it down with a rag. Her eyes travel over the curve of her ass in those jeans and back up to the way her hair, still falling out of that ponytail, brushes against the girl's face. Any annoyance she had quickly dissipates. The girl is just _too_ hot to be angry at.

As Santana arrives at the booth Brittany steps back and stands, crashing back into Santana. Santana smirks and reaches her hands out to steady her waitress by the forearms, and relishes for a second that mesmerizing buzz that comes with Brittany's back against her front. And wow, her arms have some serious muscle in them.

"Oh!" Brittany almost immediately jerks away and spins around to face Santana. Her eyes fall to the floor. "I really am sorry. I'm...kinda a klutz sometimes."

Santana actually feels guilty for a moment over how heartbroken she looks about it. She offers a small smile and moves around Brittany to slide into the booth opposite of where she sat before. "How about we just try to hit the cup next time," she says with a little smirk.

"Sure..uh, sure." Brittany stutters, but finally meets Santana's eyes again with a soft smile and nod before turning and walking back behind the counter.

Instead of Brittany returning though, the other waitress, Irene according to her name tag, shows up with the coffee in hand. Despite the slight disaster Santana is a little disappointed. Not that she wants to have another shower in it, but she does want to see Brittany again. It had actually been a little adorable how upset she got over the situation and Santana feels bad for how she reacted. Maybe the girl hasn't been a waitress very long.

"Very sorry about that, ma'am," the older waitress says as she refills Santana's cup.

"It's fine, really. I'm sure she'll get better."

Irene snorts and shakes her head. "Brittany's been with us three years now." And she walks away.

Santana smirks as she pulls her coffee cup closer. Well. Brains and beauty aren't required to go together. Especially not beauty on that epic level. It's not like she hasn't had her fair share of airheads. Sometimes airheads are fun, because they don't expect more than they get. She catches movement as Brittany walks over again several minutes later.

"Here you go. House salad. You didn't tell me what kind of dressing you wanted, but I took you for a raspberry balsamic girl."

Santana just smiles up at her. "You're good."

Brittany beams in return, and oh she could get used to that smile. Or she could get used to never getting used to it. "Anything else?"

"No, this is good," Santana replies. "Thank you."

"Enjoy."

Brittany lingers for a moment and Santana keeps hold of the gaze. Something is pulling her in. Something strong that she vaguely recognizes. It's been a long time since she felt a pull like that. A need to know someone that you've just met, and a desire to reach out and touch...everything. And in there in it all she can't help but feel that maybe, just maybe, the pull is mutual. That there's something bouncing in the air there between them.

She moves her eyes from Brittany's with a deep breath. She has to before she forgets how to breathe for too long, because she thinks staring at Brittany could possibly do that. It could literally cause her to forget to inhale oxygen, and a part of her thinks it might totally be worth it. She picks up her fork, and this time she doesn't watch as Brittany walks away. Taking a large bite of her salad, her lips curl into a smile. She's pretty sure she just found out where she's going to be eating most of her meals. After all, she hates to cook.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hello my spicy Latina wife of common law, how's the corn?"

"You're thinking of Iowa," Santana snorts. She smiles though, because it's nice to hear a voice from home even if she rarely let's on how much she cares for her roommate Kurt. Not only have they lived together almost since graduating high school, but they were friends through the torment of high school. He's a part of home.

"Oh right. So what does Ohio have?" The soft but bright voice asks.

"Hell if I know. Potatoes?"

"No, honey, that's Idaho."

"I give up then," Santana sighs. She flops down on the couch and stretches out to settle in for their phone call.

"What have you been doing?"

"Absolutely nothing. There's nothing to do here. I'm seriously thinkin' about taking up knitting. You want a scarf or something?"

"God no, please," Kurt answers quickly.

"I could be a good knitter, you never know."

"I more than encourage you to give it a try, but don't expect me to wear anything you make."

"I'm hurt that you wouldn't be honored to wear a Lopez original," Santana huffs dramatically.

"Sorry, dear."

Santana groans a bit. "It's so fucking dull here. I really don't think I'll survive."

"Aren't there any clubs or bars? Do your lady charming thing and find girls to pass the time with. Isn't that what you do?"

She knows he's teasing slightly, but it's also part truth. "There's one gay bar right outside of town, I think. I haven't checked it out yet."

"Well go. Check. Then I'll plan a weekend to come down and find myself a sweet farmer boyfriend," Kurt suggests. Santana can hear the smirk on his face.

"Only if you don't bring Berry. Being here is a vacation from her."

Kurt just sighs. "One day you two will _have_ to start getting along."

"Says who? She's your friend not mine."

"Don't be ridiculous. You like her more than you'll admit."

"Shut it, Lady. I won't stand for that kinda profanity."

"Santana," Kurt says dryly.

"Kurt?"

Another sigh from his end. "I miss you. It's dreadfully boring without you here."

"I know, I'm pretty fabulous."

"And you miss me too, right?" He leads.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"Mhmm. So what _have_ you been doing? Really."

"Uh..well...there's this diner. I've kinda been going there every day this week."

"What does she look like?" His voice is almost bored. Almost. There's a hint of curiosity there, too.

"What does who look like?"

"Whoever has your eye at this diner."

"What makes you think..." She stops and shakes her head. "Blonde, blue eyes, great legs. Tall."

"And her name?"

"Brittany."

"Gay, straight, in-between?"

"I can't tell yet. I'm thinkin' not completely straight."

Kurt gasps softly. "Santana Lopez, has your gaydar malfunctioned? Since when can you not decide?"

"Since Brittany," she replies. "She's really hard to read."

"So flirt. Do your thang."

"I...I'm trying," she mumbles. She knows she's not trying as hard as she might usually, but this is different. She's not just trying to get a one night stand. She just...wants to get to know the girl. God did she really just think that? "She's not gonna be easy like some of the ladies up there."

"Mmm, she must be pretty if you're putting this much work into it," Kurt teases.

Santana's not too sure how much 'work' she's putting into it, but yeah she's that hot. "What about you?" She's ready to get the conversation off of her before it gets too serious. "How's everything with whatshisname?"

"Whatshisname is history."

She chuckles. "You know, at our rate we're still gonna be together when we're sixty."

"No we won't. One of us will kill the other before that happens."

* * *

Santana still remembers the day she met Kurt. It's funny how fate, or whatever you want to call it, intervenes sometimes. Kurt would probably never be someone Santana would befriend, especially not back then, but it happened all the same. Maybe it was part out of necessity, but they found a certain rhythm to their friendship that kept them together then and over the years.

They were sophomores and it was Kurt's first year at the school. Santana was in the group of head bitches, and she was a cheerleader. She had been out even then and even though she wasn't waving a rainbow flag, she wasn't ashamed of it. It helped growing up in a diverse city like New York and having supportive parents. She still had her insecurities and her fears, and she still covered that all up with being that bitch everyone knew her to be, but at least she could breathe. For the most part people quit messing with her the year before in terms of the name calling. They had quickly learned to fear her. But that didn't stop some kids from still harassing others. Sometimes Santana stepped in and sometimes she ignored it. It wasn't her place to save everyone.

She's not even sure to this day why she saved Kurt. She was walking from lunch to her next class with her somewhat-friend Sugar when they saw the new boy (everyone noticed Kurt, they couldn't not notice the boy with such a unique personal style) being backed into a locker by one of the usual suspects. As open as people can be in New York, it doesn't account for everyone. They still let assholes in. Santana heard a few off-color terms that sent her blood boiling and she had quickly found herself behind the bully. With a few choice threatening words and a promise of pain, the bully fled. Sugar pulled Kurt down the hallway with them and from then on he and Santana had stuck together. Where Sugar was a friend she had just kind of been stuck with since they were little girls (their fathers were good friends), Kurt had been someone she wanted to keep around. She was like his fairy godmother guiding him out of the closet, and something about him endeared him to her. Even today she'll claim that he's annoying and that she has been stuck with him all of these years, but they both know she loves him. He's been there for her through everything.

She hadn't realized she would actually miss him like this even a week into her stay, but she does. She finds herself sitting in her booth at the diner thinking about him, and almost wishing he were there across from her making her roll her eyes and laugh. He would definitely help her with her small growing infatuation and be her winggay, befriending Brittany quicker than she ever could. He's just better with people than her.

Santana is so lost in her thoughts that she jumps when someone slides into the booth across from her. She turns and gives a moment for her eyes to adjust to...Brittany. Her lips curl into a smile of their own volition.

"You know, you've been here every day for like..a week, and I don't know your name. I'm good at knowing my regulars names," Brittany says, looking at Santana with a spark in those hypnotizing blue eyes.

"Santana."

"Santana...that's really pretty," Brittany nods. Santana just wants to hear her name on those lips again. "So Santana, did you just move here?"

Oh thank you. "What makes you think that?"

"I have a magical brain," she shrugs.

Santana catches the hint of a smirk on Brittany's lips before it's gone again, like she's sharing a secret joke with Santana and Santana alone. She takes a breath and shakes her head. "Visiting for a bit," she finally answers.

"Hmm, okay. People here were actually starting to take bets about who you are."

"Why?

"We need something to entertain us."

Santana can think of better ways to entertain the waitress, but she doesn't say that. "Glad to help out," she says dryly.

"Do you really have nothing better to do than come here every day, Santana?"

There it is again. Her name coming from that mouth. "A girl has to eat, and I don't like to cook."

Brittany just laughs a light, happy laugh. Damn, even her laugh is addicting. "Okay...sorry, I'll stop bugging you." She gets to her feet and wanders off before Santana can speak up that she isn't bugging her. Not in the slightest.

* * *

For the next few days Brittany makes it a habit of sitting across from Santana at random and asking her a question at a time.

"What's your favorite color?"

"Uh...red, I guess."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-four."

"Can you stick our your tongue and touch your nose?"

Santana can't stay away. She really wants to know more about Brittany, but she's not quite as good at the questions as the other girl. Not only that but something about Brittany makes her nervous. Her usual game is gone out the window.

She keeps going back and forth on what her chances would be with the blonde. Sometimes it seems like they get stuck in these moments of their gazes locked and small smiles on their lips (Santana's heart pounding mercilessly in her chest), and others she watches Brittany be sweet and adorable with all of her customers. Santana can't decide if the treatment she gets is special and just for her, or if it's how Brittany acts with everyone. It's making her slightly nuts and causing her to call Kurt almost nightly to bitch about it. Sometimes he listens with a sympathetic ear and sometimes he yells at her to man up and do something about it. Other times he tells her she really needs something else to do with her time. She knows this. And she doesn't spend _all _of her time at the diner. She's started walking more. She goes to the mall. She finds other restaurants to split her meals between, like the heavenly place called Breadstix that she just can't keep herself away from. She's sure she's going to gain ten pounds from that place alone, and a part of her thinks it'll be worth it. But then again, this is why she's walking now. She has also started going through her abeula's attic to organize it and look through some of her parents old things that were stashed there when they moved away all those years ago. Mixed in and tucked away she also finds remnants of her abeula's past, and she can find herself lost up there for hours at a time.

So she is keeping herself busy and doing more than sitting at that diner, but even when she's away from it her thoughts tend to stray back to it. Back to Brittany. Gorgeous, funny, sweet Brittany who she knows nearly nothing about, but is addicted to all the same.

* * *

Santana has been in Lima for almost three weeks now. A part of her can't believe it's been this long already and a part of her feels like it's been three months. She doesn't usually come through the diner in the evening, especially because she's noticed Brittany doesn't tend to work very late, but tonight she was a bit restless at home and decided to wander over.

Brittany's working.

Santana tries to ignore the possible implications of how fate or something of it's nature brought her to the diner one of the few nights Brittany is working. Instead she watches the girl bustle around and serve the dwindling crowd. Brittany isn't waiting on her tonight, but she does make it a point to smile across the room when she can. That makes Santana feel a little more special.

Eventually the place quiets down and there are only two other customers aside from Santana in the diner. The employees are cleaning up and going about their evening duties, and she watches Brittany settle in an empty booth with napkins and silverware. It takes her a moment of pep talk, but she gets to her feet and wanders over. She slides into the booth across from Brittany and is rewarded with a bright, welcoming smile.

"Hi, Santana."

"Hi, Brittany," she responds, returning the smile.

"You're here late."

"So are you."

"Oh, yeah. Gina's sick and I try to pick up shifts when I can, so.." Brittany shrugs as she busies her hands with rolling silverware into the napkins.

"Aren't you sweet." Santana tips her head slightly with the comment as she pulls a napkin towards herself and copies what Brittany is doing. She notices Brittany's pale cheeks brightening with red and accompanying a shy smile.

"You don't have to help me."

"I don't mind," Santana replies softly. "Unless you wanna kick me out, I know you're closing soon."

"No," Brittany shakes her head quickly and their eyes meet. "You don't have to leave."

Santana's hands pause what they're doing as she holds onto that connection for a moment. Oh yeah, this is definitely something.


	3. Chapter 3

The diner is empty and quiet aside from the two women sitting in the corner booth. All of the lights are off except for one burning from the kitchen. There's a soft beam of light falling in their direction, but not on them. The streetlights and moon cast gentler light in on them and Santana can't help but marvel at how much more beautiful Brittany is with a hint of moonlight on her face.

Brittany's coworkers have since left and Brittany has finished all of her closing chores. All of the silverware is rolled. Now the two sit across from each other with their hands resting on the table. They've been talking for nearly two hours and have been alone for one. At first they spoke of all of the mundane things that came to their minds, jumping from one topic to the next. Santana can't remember when she last laughed so much. Brittany told Santana of other things she can do around Lima and nearby, and Santana told Brittany her favorite things about New York.

For the past fifteen minutes though they have fallen into complete silence. They're both watching the table where their hands are brushing together gently. Santana had been a little shocked fifteen minutes before when Brittany's pinky moved against hers, and she hasn't been able to look her in the eye since. Instead she's letting her pinky brush back against Brittany's as she enjoys the sparks jumping from Brittany's skin, up her arm, and throughout her entire body. She wants to risk a glance up, but she's not sure if she can handle it. Then Brittany reaches her pinky out and links it tightly around Santana's. This brings her eyes up and she immediately finds Brittany's gaze on her. The blonde is chewing on the corner of her bottom lip. Like Santana needs more reason to focus on those lips.

She clears her throat and looks down, not pulling her hand from Brittany's. Why the hell would she? "I think you know more about me than I do about you," she finally gets out.

Brittany giggles and gives a soft yank on Santana's pinky. "So ask me."

"Ask you what?" She raises her gaze again to those blue eyes.

"Anything," Brittany shrugs.

Santana thinks about this for a bit. She knows what she wants to ask, but it won't come out. Instead, "Did you ever want to be something more than a waitress?"

Brittany's head tilts. "I am more than a waitress. It's just a job."

"Okay, okay. What do you wanna be?"

A giggle. "I want to be who I am. I'm happy with who I am."

Santana just gives the girl a look. "You know what I mean."

Another giggle. "Well...I used to want to be a dancer, and then..I taught kids to dance for a little while, and..." She hesitates for a moment. "And now I'm here. But I'm happy. There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

"Hm. Nowhere at all?" Santana doesn't believe that. Everyone wants to be somewhere else.

"Nope. I'm good." Brittany shifts their hands so she can brush her thumb to the inside of Santana's wrist which makes Santana shiver pleasantly. Way too pleasantly.

At this moment she's not so sure she wants to be anywhere else either. Except maybe somewhere a lot more private. "You, uh...you wanna go get a drink or something? I think there's some wine back at the house if.." She doesn't even know how she got the nerve to ask that, but she knows she doesn't want to stop talking to Brittany. She doesn't want to leave her presence. She's not even sure that she means anything behind the offer, because while she wouldn't turn that down at all, she really just wants to spend more time with the other woman.

Brittany sits up a bit straighter and pulls her hand into her lap. "No." She blinks quickly. "I mean...not no, I just...can't. Actually I should probably head home. It's late."

Santana curses herself silently for ruining the moment as she puts a shaking hand into her lap and covers it with her other hand. She grips them together and nods. "O-okay."

A warm smile blooms across Brittany's lips. "But I'll see you here tomorrow, right?"

The return smile wavers at first, but strengthens. "Yeah, of course."

"Come on." Brittany gets to her feet and holds out a hand to Santana. Santana takes it and lets herself be pulled to her feet. "I'll be right back."

Santana watches Brittany disappear into the backroom and she lets out a long sigh. She doesn't know what's going on, but she wants more of it. So much more of it and of Brittany. She smiles when she sees Brittany reappear with her jacket and bag.

"Come on." She goes over to the front door and unlocks it before waving Santana out ahead of her. Santana steps outside and watches Brittany follow and lock the door behind them. She gives it an extra tug to double check, then turns to look at Santana. "So..."

Santana has her hands clasped in front of herself and she smiles shyly. Why? Why can't she feel more in control? Why can't she be the Santana Lopez who always goes for the girl she wants? "So..."

"Thanks for keeping me company tonight, Santana."

"You're welcome."

"I...um. Goodnight." Brittany starts to take a couple of steps backwards and her face dips slightly with the last word, her lips curling up in a smile.

It's adorable and makes Santana grin. She starts to step backwards as well. "Goodnight, Brittany." She keeps her eyes on Brittany, watches the girl take a few more steps backwards, and waits until she turns to go. Santana stops, not really ready to say goodbye yet. It's an addiction. A Brittany addiction. Time spent with her is never enough. "Hey...Brittany?"

The blonde spins around. "Yes?"

"You know the food here's not all that great, right?"

Brittany turns red with that happy smile on her face. Her shoulders go up and she looks to her feet again. "Yeah, I know." That adorable moment seems to pass as she brings her gaze back up to look across the way at Santana. "Must be something here you like." Her cute blushing smile turns into more of a knowing smirk, and Santana feels her heart beat faster. Something flickers hotly inside her at just how sexy that smirk is. How? How is she adorable and sexy all at once?

"Must be," Santana breathes, barely loud enough for her voice to make it to Brittany's ears. But it does, and Brittany just grins again before turning and walking away. All Santana can do is stand there and watch. It's quite safe to say she has never met a woman like this one before, or if she has they pale in comparison.


	4. Chapter 4

**A**/**N**: Any original characters mentioned from here on out belong to me. I now have a tumblr for my writing if you would like to follow for extra thoughts, soundtracking, etc on my stories. Follow frayedattheends. I hope you're enjoying the story.

* * *

Santana had every intention of getting to the diner for breakfast to see Brittany, but now it's past lunchtime and she's still sitting in the attic staring at the pages of a picture album she didn't even know existed. After Santana came out towards the end of her freshman year she heard from her abuela less. The woman didn't approve of Santana's orientation and their relationship was never quite the same. They hadn't been particularly close to being with, but it hurt Santana all the same.

Now, sitting in the woman's attic, sorting through her things, she realizes that nothing she ever thought was right. The older woman had several photo albums dedicated to her granddaughter, including albums of her entire high school career. From early freshmen year when she got on the cheerleading squad, to dating her "boyfriend" Mike and going to dances with him, and through the later three years in which she was actually _out_ at school. She sighs with a small smile looking at her and Mike's smiling faces. They had been so young, so innocent. Mike Chang was not like most of the other guys on the basketball team. He was sweet, a dancer, and he didn't want to have sex until he fell in love. The problem they had both faced was that the cheerleaders and basketball players were supposed to be together, and the cheerleaders, if virgins, were supposed to lose it to someone on the basketball team. Unfortunately, Santana did. She slept with a boy named Matt and she had hated every moment of it. After Matt, she didn't want to be with anyone sexually. So she thought. But Mike had been a year older than her, and they had known each other for years, so out of convenience they started to date. It wasn't long into their so called relationship that Santana realized she wanted to be with girls, not boys, and she even told him so. He didn't care. They both got to put up the facade of doing what they were supposed to do without actually having to do it. They would sit up and talk at parties when they were locked in a room supposedly having sex, they would talk to each other about what they really wanted in life and how scared they were to look for it. Mike ended up being one of her closest friends in high school, and she still feels like she owes him so much.

Her fingers trace his face, her own face, and she wonders why they never kept in touch. Yes, they had ended up splitting up before sophomore year started, but they never stopped being friends, and somewhere after graduation they just lost each other. A pull in her heart makes her want to look him up and find him again.

She never knew. She had never known before that her abeula had these pictures. Pictures of Santana and Mike, pictures of Santana and her squad, and a picture of Santana and Lina. The first girl Santana kissed, and the girl that she fumbled out of the closet with. She can hardly blink with the shock of finding that picture in one of the albums. How many times had she wanted to introduce her abuela to this side of herself? And how many times had she been shut down?

Lina. Santana had loved Lina in the way that everyone falls in puppy love with their first girlfriend or boyfriend, but Lina's family weren't as accepting as Santana's. Lina went to another school and grew up in another neighborhood, and coming out didn't work for her. In the middle of their sophomore year Lina and her family disappeared. Her parents up and moved them all out of the city, and far away from the bad influences for their daughter. Santana had always been sure that Lina was who she would have been had her family not had the money they have. Had her parents not accepted her so easily for who she is.

She sighs and flips the page. She doesn't like to think about her exes. Who can say they do? She spends the next hour looking through the albums and walking through the memories of her youth. Her stomach growls and bubbles, pulling her from the past. She grabs her phone from where she left it laying behind herself and looks at the time. It's then that she realizes she hasn't eaten all day and that she probably should. She takes another look back to the photo album in her lap and closes it carefully. She's still so amazed that it exists, that her abeula took the time to save the pictures she somehow acquired, that she wants to disturb it as little as possible.

She gets to her feet and wipes herself off. She's still stuck on thoughts of Lina and the past, and feels herself starting to slip somewhere else. Another girlfriend later on. In college. Her eyes close and she takes a deep breath, pushing those thoughts away. She doesn't want to go there. She can't go there.

Instead she forces her thoughts towards someone blonde. Long blonde hair, blue eyes, and a stunning smile. Fingers that had threaded through hers just the night before. A thumb brushing against her wrist. A smile spreads on her lips as a spark flickers through her gut. Yeah, she's hungry. Really, _really_ hungry.

* * *

"I was starting to think you weren't coming in today."

Santana looks up and smiles as Brittany stops beside her booth. "Were you disappointed?" She teases lightly.

"Yeah, I was." Brittany nods, her eyes on Santana's and her features serious. "Coffee?"

The admission stalls Santana for a moment, but then she nods. "Please."

"Salad?"

"Perfect," Santana nods again.

Brittany bites down on her bottom lip and stands there a moment like she wants to say something, but then the moment passes and she smiles warmly. "Coming right up."

As always Santana watches Brittany go as she walks away, eyes taking their time to roam. She watches Brittany stop at the counter and wrap her arm around someone. A blonde someone. A female, blonde someone. Right away she goes full alert and her gaze darts over them as her heartbeat speeds up a bit. She can't hear what they're saying, but they're laughing. The other blonde, her hair's shorter and even seated Santana can tell she's shorter than Brittany, leans into Brittany's hold.

Santana's jealousy immediately flies off the charts. She takes a deep breath to reign it in and continues to watch the scene before her. She had spent more time over the last few weeks questioning if Brittany could swing her way or not and not enough time wondering if she has a girlfriend. She's suddenly terrified that the answer is yes. The two blondes are quite cuddly in that comfortably familiar way.

Brittany lets go of the other girl and continues around the counter to grab the pot of coffee, then she brings it back around to Santana. With a smile she pours the cup (Santana pushes the cup far away from herself as has become habit) and perches on the edge of the seat across from Santana. "So what've you been up to today?"

"Not much," she answers, her eyes darting to the counter. The short blonde is looking over and Santana can't help but take note of how attractive she is. Like classic gorgeous. Like this girl either belongs in a cotillion or another decade. She realizes Brittany is still staring at her so she looks over to those blue eyes again. "I was working in the attic again. Trying to, to uh..straighten it up." She can hardly get her words and thoughts to line up the right way.

Hadn't they had a moment last night? Hadn't they had several moments over the last few weeks? Maybe Brittany's just sweet and touchy-feely with everyone. Maybe she's not even gay in the slightest and Santana has been seeing what she wants to see. Maybe-

Brittany gives Santana's foot a gentle nudge with her own. "I'm going to see you on that auction show, huh? You'll find some really old antique that's worth a fortune." She's laughing, but all Santana can think about is the way Brittany just touched her, and how intimate that had been.

She takes another deep breath and nods, flickering a glance again to the girl at the counter. The girl quickly glances away the moment Santana looks her way. She's watching them. Santana's eyes narrow slightly. Whoever this woman is, she doesn't like her. She doesn't like the attention she got from Brittany, and she doesn't like the way she's spying on _her_ moment with Brittany. She wants to smack herself. She feels like an idiot for letting her hopes take root. She doesn't have a single ounce of claim over the woman sitting across from her. She's just her waitress. Her sweet, friendly waitress who has been doing her job for the past three weeks.

That waitress is now frowning. It's a frown that makes Santana ache painfully on the inside. The way Brittany's bottom lip is stuck out, the way her beautiful eyes seem to go a bit grayer; that kind of frown shouldn't be allowed to exist. "What's wrong?" Brittany asks in a concerned voice.

Santana has to tear her eyes from the way Brittany is looking at her, and she shakes her head. "N-nothing. I just...I forgot that I have this thing. I gotta do this thing." She jumps to her feet and starts to pull cash from her pocket for the coffee she didn't drink. "Thanks for, uh-but I gotta go." She doesn't want to sit there and watch Brittany and whoever the other woman is. She doesn't want to be reminded that she has no chance with this beautiful person across from her.

Brittany stands and pushes Santana's money back at her. "No, you didn't even drink any. Are you sure you're okay, Santana?" In the same motion of pushing the money away, Brittany's hands wrap around Santana's and give them a light squeeze. "I really wish you would stay, I wanted you to meet someone."

"I, uh-" She glances over at the mystery woman again and shakes her head. "Maybe next time." She pulls her hands from Brittany's, still feeling the addictive buzz from her touch, and heads for the door. She knows she looks ridiculous and childish, but she has to get out of there. She has to get out of there while she still has some dignity to her name.

* * *

"So you don't even know who this woman was?"

"No, you think I'm Andy-fucking-Griffith or something? I don't know anyone in this shithole of a town. I'm not walkin' around shouting 'hey neighbor!' at everyone I see." Santana knows she's being overly bitchy when Kurt doesn't deserve it, but she can't stop herself. She's pissed at herself and at the situation, and these are the times she still acts like the queen bitch she once was.

Kurt doesn't even sound fazed as he replies, "My point, dearest Hot Tamale, is that you don't know who she was. Maybe she's a friend of Brittany's, maybe she's her sister or her cousin. You have no idea. You let your fear take over, and you didn't even wait to find out."

"Listen Doctor Phillipa, I saw what I saw," she snaps as she paces the kitchen. She wishes she could reach through the phone and strangle Kurt, but she also wishes he could come through it and hug her. She hates when he does that, but sometimes she really does need it.

"You saw what you wanted to see, because it gives you an out from the fact that you really like this girl. More than you've liked anyone else in a very long time. Dare I say since Be-"

"Say that name and you're dead to me," she says in a low, even tone without even an insult tacked on. Just the sound of the beginning of that name sends her stomach lurching and causes her to stumble back to a chair and sit down.

A sigh comes through the line. "I'm sorry. I'm only trying to make you see that you're being irrational. I know, big leap for you."

Those words actually turn the corners of her lips up a little. "Me? Never."

"Sweetie," Kurt says slowly. "Don't try to put up roadblocks where they don't exist. Go back and see Brittany."

"Her shift's probably over with by now," Santana grumbles with a glance at the clock. It's been a few hours now since she got back from the diner.

"Santana."

"Kurt."

"Go."

"Fine," she rolls her eyes and hits the 'end' button on her phone. It's one time she wishes she were on a real phone so she could slam it down. Much more dramatic and fulfilling that way. She looks to the clock again and licks her lips in thought. Maybe Brittany will be there. Maybe the mystery woman will be, too. Or maybe she won't.

God she really does want to see Brittany. Those five minutes weren't enough to fill her Brittany quota of the day. She finds herself needing a nice, long conversation with the waitress daily to make her feel like she got her worth. Stupid, childish crush. She sighs and pulls herself to her feet. She's not going to go through with the thought that maybe Kurt is right. She doesn't like giving him that satisfaction even in her head.

She starts for the front door, but then changes her mind and detours to the bedroom. Within fifteen minutes, yes she's just that good, she's leaving out the door in a short, tight stripped dress. Her hair is down in waves from where she's had it up all day, and her make up is light in the 'no, I'm not wearing any' effect. She looks hot and she knows it. She hasn't yet done herself up like this for Brittany, but she also knows it's not _completely_ for Brittany. It's also for the mystery woman. If she's there, well, there's no way anyone's eyes will be on her instead of Santana. She grabs her leather jacket on her way out the door and pulls it on. She means business now.

* * *

"Santana!"

Her strong, business resolve shakes just at the sound of her name. There's a way Brittany manages to say it that comes out so bright and happy; like she's saving Brittany's entire day just by walking in the door. How she wishes that were really the effect she has on the girl.

Her gaze immediately goes to the counter, but the mystery woman is gone. She's not anywhere in the diner and Santana feels a certain satisfaction over the fact. She tries to hold back the smirk on her lips as Brittany walks over to her. Her blue eyes are once again sparkling bright, and her smile is miles wide.

"You came back!"

"Yeah," Santana nods, a soft smile coming onto her lips. "Sorry I ran out earlier, I...had this thing."

Brittany shrugs it off with a wave of her hand and looks her up and down. "You look fancy, are you off on a date?" Santana notices that Brittany had taken her time to look her over and a spark of renewed hope shoots through her. Her smile widens a little more because of it.

"No. I-I was just taking myself out for the evening," she shrugs, trying to act nonchalant.

"And you brought yourself here?" Brittany giggles and glances over her shoulder at her name being called.

"Just thought I'd stop through," she replies. "You're busy, though, so I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"No!" Brittany quickly reaches out to grab Santana's wrist. "Wait. I'm off in five minutes, we'll sit and catch up. I didn't even get to ask you a question today." With that beam still on her lips, Brittany turns and goes to the table that's waving her down. Santana stares blankly after her for a moment before moving over to her usual booth. How can she say no to Brittany? Ever?

* * *

"That really is a pretty dress on you," Brittany says, her voice a bit lower. She's biting down on her bottom lip and looking at Santana through her lashes, and Santana feels that burn through her stomach. Hope, delight, and excitement. Just a few among many emotions Brittany can make her feel at once.

"You think so?"

"Mhmm," Brittany nods and her knuckles graze the hand Santana has resting on the table. Santana can't be sure if the movement is on purpose or not, but she almost doesn't care. She's too busy enjoying the sensations it sends through her body. "Too pretty to hang around here in. You should be out having fun, or at a fancy restaurant or something."

Santana blinks for a moment, wondering if that's a cue, and she hesitates before biting. "Well, why don't we go out somewhere? I do owe you that question." She lets a smile grace her lips. It's not exactly her flirtatious smile, she still has trouble trying her game on Brittany, but it's something. She watches Brittany's smile falter slightly as she sits up straighter.

Oh fuck.

"That's really sweet, but...I can't." Her eyes shoot up to the clock over the cash register. "I should probably go, actually. But I'm glad you stopped back in, and I'll cash in my question another day. I totally claim an I.O.U. on it."

"Yeah, of course." Santana nods, disappointment crashing through her. She keeps that smile on her face the best she can though.

"You could walk me out?" Brittany suggests as she stands up. She gives a slight nod to the door with a smile.

"Sure." Santana gets to her feet and the two awkwardly and quietly head for the door together. Brittany slides her bag up her shoulder as Santana holds the door for her, and just like the night before they stand awkwardly together outside on the sidewalk.

Santana has her eyes on her feet and she feels Brittany's gaze on her. She really wishes she just knew what this was. She wishes she had the guts to ask. A shadow falls on her and she realizes Brittany has stepped closer. Her head raises to meet Brittany's eyes and the girl is smiling softly at her.

"You really do look beautiful," she says, barely above a whisper, before leaning in and kissing Santana on the cheek. "Goodnight, Santana." And with those words, and taking Santana's ability to speak with her, Brittany turns and starts down the sidewalk. All Santana can do is watch her go, silently. Fuck, damn, and shit. She hasn't been this confused since trying to find a light in the closet she had once been trapped in.


	5. Chapter 5

**tip:** try looking up "rock your soul" by elisa and listening to it during this chapter. [I've put up a link to it on tumblr, frayedattheends]

* * *

With the warm buzz of Brittany's lips still on her cheek, Santana watches the blonde get further and further away from her. Her fingertips come to her cheek for just a moment and slowly her head shakes. What the hell is she doing? Her hand drops. What the hell happened to the Santana Lopez that went after what she wanted? Since when does she let a girl just walk away?

Fine. She knows. It was Becca. Becca stole pieces of her that she still hasn't been able to glue back together.

Well fuck that. She's the Santana Lopez she wants to be, not the Santana Lopez someone else crushed her into being.

"Brittany!" She starts up the sidewalk after the waitress. "Brittany, wait up." She doesn't run, but her pace does quicken slightly. She watches Brittany turn around and wait for her on the corner, and when she catches up to the other girl she stops and stares up at her. Her lips move with words that won't come out.

Brittany glances over her shoulder, then looks back to Santana as her arms cross over her chest to hug herself. "Yeah?" Her voice sounds nervous and uncertain.

Santana loses herself in Brittany's eyes for a moment before mentally kicking herself. Stop being lame. She feels her shoulders square back as she takes a couple of steps closer to Brittany. She can already feel the intensity of heat strengthen between their bodies, and she has to wonder if that's one sided or if Brittany feels it too. She hopes to hell she feels it. It's so strong that it's making Santana dizzy, but she powers through. She sees Brittany's eyes dart down then back up to meet her own in a moment of what looks like slight panic. She notices the sharp intake of breath, and watches the blonde's lips press together with nerves. She can't blame her. She's pretty sure she just acted the same way when Brittany got all up in her space.

She likes being all up in Brittany's space. As warm as it is, it's also cool and soothing. She keeps her eyes locked to Brittany's and takes one final step closer. Brittany doesn't move away and she doesn't miss the split second of Brittany glancing down to her lips. Yep. This is right where she wants her. This is how Santana Lopez does it. Her lips turn up in the slightest with pride in herself and she lets a hand slowly reach out to land on Brittany's hip. How can simply touching the girl's hip make Santana shiver? Probably because she can easily see herself grabbing that hip, naked, tucked beneath her as she-

No. One moment at a time.

Brittany's mouth begins to part with a word, but Santana doesn't let that happen. She reaches up on her toes and gets her lips very close to that mouth. "I think you missed," she whispers, before finally letting their lips connect. She doesn't feel the slightest bit of resistance or pause as the kiss is returned to her. Warm lips, perfect lips, press back against hers and her free hand falls to Brittany's other hip to balance herself. One of Brittany's hands reaches out to wrap around Santana's neck, thumb aligning her throat, while the other tucks against the side of her head by her ear, and locks itself into her hair. Santana is being held perfectly in place right there, and she loves the feel of it. Brittany's hands are strong, but everything else is so..._so soft_.

Santana's body relaxes against Brittany's, presses into it, and her lips part further. Right away, without having to initiate it, Brittany's mouth opens to hers and their tongues meet. As though sensing the inevitable meeting. As though something magnetic pulls them together.

Oh holy hell, speaking of soft. Santana isn't sure she's ever felt a tongue on hers, or lips on hers, quite like that. It feels ridiculously juvenile to think it, but she never could have dreamed of Brittany's kiss feeling the way it does. Of Brittany _tasting_ the way she does. If perfect beauty could have a taste, Brittany has it down pat. Somehow Brittany just _tastes_ of pure beauty. Honest beauty.

A soft moan sounds in the back of Santana's throat, and Brittany's thumb brushes up that throat and the skin there. Her fingers tangle tighter in Santana's hair, and Santana lets her hips push closer into the woman against her. She feels a whimper in her mouth coming from Brittany and she swallows it down. Their lips release a second later to fight for breath, but their mouths barely part. Santana can still feel Brittany's breath mixing with hers and the gentle swipe of her tongue on her lip. Teeth accidentally get mixed in there in their need for oxygen, and that only sends a deeper shot of desire through Santana. Her hands grasp Brittany's hips tighter and slowly, painfully, Brittany loosens her hold on Santana's face. Still they don't pull away from one another.

"Santana," Brittany murmurs. It's a breath of a whisper, and it's pained; strained. "I...I _can't_." Her voice contradicts the word, as though she wants to argue with herself. Like the word was to herself more than to Santana.

Santana licks her lips and feels cool air hit them as Brittany's mouth pulls even further away. Those hands are still on her face though, and that body is still pressing against hers. All she has to do is lean in a few inches and find that mouth again. How she wants to. She wants to attack Brittany's lips with her own, and convince her without words how they could do even better a second time around.

But. She's nothing if not a gentleman.

Biting down hard on her lip (she has to, she has to physically restrain herself), she lets herself fall back on her heels. She feels Brittany's hands uncurl from her face and immediately her skin feels colder.

"I'm sorry," Brittany whispers further.

Santana finally opens her eyes to find Brittany's, and what she finds is the saddest color of blue she has ever seen. She hates it. At the same time though she's hurt and confused. Hadn't it been amazing for Brittany, too? Isn't this a sure sign that there's _something_ happening? There's no way it can be in her head anymore. But the way Brittany is looking at her, as though she's _begging_ her (for what, Santana isn't sure), Santana can only take a step back. She pulls her hands from Brittany's hips and wraps them under her own arms. The two stare at each other in the thick, screaming silence for several moments.

A car pulls up to the sidewalk behind them and the passenger side window rolls down. A guy with shaggy blonde hair is driving, and he leans his head to look out the window. "You ready, Britt?"

Both girls look over to the voice at the same time. Santana stares at him. Jealousy would be cropping up if she weren't still so stunned by that kiss. By that entire moment. She blinks at the driver. What the hell? Does Lima just grow crops of blondes or something?

"Yeah," Brittany's voice snaps Santana's eyes back to her, and Brittany avoids the look. With her eyes on the car she walks over to it and pulls the passenger door open. "See you tomorrow?" Something in her voice is different. Forced. Like they're back to being waitress and patron.

Santana feels her own eyes darkening as she moves a step backwards. "Sure," she nods. She glances between the guy in the car and Brittany and tries to find that connection in Brittany's eyes again, but the blonde refuses to give in. Instead she gets in the car and pulls the door shut.

"Bye," Brittany says through the open window as it rolls back up.

Santana doesn't say goodbye back, and she doesn't watch the car pull away. Instead she turns her back and starts back down the sidewalk from where she had come.

What the fuck was that? What the ever-loving-fuck?

She stops back in front of the diner. She has half a mind to say screw it and go out somewhere. Maybe find that bar and some faceless, nameless woman she can use to forget Brittany, but her heart really isn't into it. Even though her body is now screaming with desire, she can't bring herself to stooping there. No, she wants to go home. _Home_, home. She wants to go back to the apartment she shares with Kurt and forget about Lima. And Brittany. She wouldn't even care if she had to listen to another diva-off between Kurt and Rachel. Even that would beat the hopeless, rejected feeling she's feeling right now.

With a controlled breath she wraps herself up in her own arms and starts walking back to her abuela's. She should probably get a cab at this hour or something, but walking home alone in the darkness pretty much sums up how she feels.

And despite it all...she's already thinking about seeing Brittany again tomorrow.


	6. Chapter 6

Despite the ache to see Brittany again, that need to have Brittany's presence somewhere in her day (like getting a fix), Santana can't bring herself to go to the diner today. She wants to, god does she want to, but she never actually leaves the house. She has gone so far as to putting on her tightest jeans and low-cut red top, but getting out the door? That's another matter. Between what had happened last night, and the following fever-hot dreams she'd had, she knows there's no way she can face Brittany with all the confidence she wants to have around her.

The dreams. Oh those dreams. Dreams of those perfect, slender hands on her neck again, and down her body. Dreams of the woman's lips all over every inch of her skin. And one specific, incredible dream of the two of them alone in the diner, and Brittany throwing her down on a table-

No. Two cold showers were enough. She's trying so hard to not let her thoughts go there, as good as they are, because she doesn't need to be any more confused or frustrated than she already is.

She instantly knows of the one way to take her mind off of everything blonde and Brittany. She pulls out her phone and draws up a familiar name in her contacts and lets the phone dial it. It's picked up on the second ring.

"Oh. My. God! Are you back?! You're back, aren't you? Okay, we totally need to go shopping because I have a really hot date tomorrow and-"

An equal parts smile and grimace spread on Santana's lips. She's never sure what reaction to give her oldest friend. "No, I'm still in Lima, Sugar."

The girl on the other end of the line huffs and Santana is certain of the childish pout that's on her lips. That pout kind of annoys Santana, because Sugar seems to think it will work on her, when it never does. Usually Santana just gives in to shut the girl up. No, there's only one pout that really gets to her... Stop. Don't go there. This is supposed to be a distraction.

"I hate that stupid town! It always steals you away when I need you most."

"Always?"

"Summer before sixth grade. I let Patrick Halligan grab my boob at a party and you were spending your annual two weeks there and Abuela Hardass wouldn't let you get on the phone with me."

Santana snorts at that. "One, you didn't have boobs before sixth grade. Two, you made it through just fine. Just like you'll make it through this date fine. Who is he?"

"This really hot guy that works for Daddy."

"When has dating guys that work for your dad ever worked out for you?"

"This is different, Santana! It could be true love!"

"Right, just like the last five guys you dated. None of these assholes want to date _you_, they want to date Papa Motta's daughter." Santana knows it's a bit harsh, but it's true. She hasn't approved of a guy Sugar has dated since Artie in highschool. She can't help but be protective of the girl, no matter how annoying she is, because they've been friends as long as she can remember. Yes it came from them being forced together as children when their fathers got together, but Sugar is like family. And with the girl being a year younger than Santana, it's always led her even more to wanting to look out for her. She knows Sugar never had a chance to grow up anything close to normal, and she also knows that underneath it all is a sweet person. On the same token Sugar has always given her the benefit of every doubt. Santana doesn't have a sister, but this girl is the closest thing she'll ever know to it.

Sugar sighs and Santana can hear the attitude wavering slightly. She knows that stupid pout is gone from the girl's lips and she's instead now frowning honestly. "At least they want to date me for some reason," she says softly.

Santana sighs deeply. "You'll find someone that wants to date you for the right reason, Sugar. You just...have to meet the right person."

"Since when have _you_ been all Ms. Positive-Let Love In? When was the last time you even went on a date that involved last names and public venues?"

She knows Sugar isn't being mean with the question, and she probably wouldn't sit and take that from anyone else, but her head shakes. "Doesn't mean I don't believe it for you."

"I ran into Kurt," Sugar says point blank. Her clear change of subject tone. "Well. I mean, I went to your apartment the other night because I was drunk and sad and forgot you weren't there, but still. I ran into him."

"And?" Santana can already feel where this is leading. Kurt and Sugar are the only people that press her love life in any way. Probably because they're the only ones she allows to get away with it.

"He said you're, like, obsessed with some girl named Brittany who might or might not be straight."

"Obsessed is a little strong," Santana argues. "Interested in. _In-ter-ested_."

"Ask her out."

"It's...not that easy."

"Ask her out!" Sugar screeches. She sometimes seems to forget that she can't demand things of Santana like she does everyone else.

Santana pulls the phone from her ear and switches to the other so she can rub her now aching ear. "It's gotten a little more complicated."

"What, does she have a boyfriend? Girlfriend?"

"One or the other," Santana sighs. "I haven't figured it out yet."

"Oh please, like that matters."

"It does matter. I'm not going after someone who's taken." Except she did, didn't she? In her own defense that was before she realized there was a possible boyfriend. Who else would be picking Brittany up from work late at night like that? "But...I...didkindakissher."

There was about twenty seconds of silence before a much louder screech. "Ohmigod! Was it hot? It was totally hot, wasn't it?"

Santana leans back into the couch she's been sitting on. "Really fucking hot," she mumbles.

* * *

After her (far too long) phone call with Sugar, Santana busies herself in the attic some more. She stays far away from those photo albums this time. She's not really in a memory lane kind of mood. She keeps herself locked up there for quite awhile then goes to take a shower. She feels covered in dust.

Once clean she pulls on an older pair of jeans (the perfectly worn, comfortable kind that just happen to still hug her ass perfectly) and a black hoodie. She really needs to find something more to do with her time around Lima, because she's running out of crap to sort through. She misses her social life, but she can only call the same people so many times. And truthfully she misses the social life that comes with going out on the town with friends and flirting or dancing with girls in bars. She's even starting to miss her job. A little bit. No, working reception for one of her dad's other doctor friends isn't her dream career, but she got the job without even turning in a resume so she's not picky. At least that gives her something to do every day. This? Sitting around her abeula's house for two months? It's just not what she's designed for. Solitude. Solitude is not her. With solitude comes too much thinking on her part, and too much thinking always leads her into being that less confident, less _her_ person that hides deep inside of her. She really doesn't like that person at all.

She finds herself standing by the front door, keys in her hand, as she stares blankly at the knob. She really can't stand the unknowns circling around her and this town. The questions. Her feelings for Brittany aren't confusing, she knows she likes the waitress, but everything around her feelings certainly are. The fact that she hasn't let herself fall for someone in years, the fact that she's frightened of rejection again, and the fact that she has no idea where Brittany stands...it's too much. Santana likes knowing. She likes having answers. Being uncertain or shut in the dark is not a position she lets herself be in anymore, so why is she suddenly accepting it?

No. Not having answers, not knowing what's going on, that's what causes problems in her life.

She opens the door and heads out to her abuela's car. The sun has already set and she's not even going to bother with walking the few blocks to the diner. It won't get her there fast enough. Even if Brittany isn't there, she knows who she can hope to talk to. The short-order cook, Noah, seems to know her waitress pretty well.

* * *

She parallel parks in front of the diner and looks in at it. It sits on the corner of its street and the windows go all the way around so she has a pretty good view of its insides. Especially with it lit up against the still darkening world around her.

Her eyes dart around for that familiar shape and it takes her mere seconds to find it. So much for thinking Brittany never works at night. But what's she supposed to say to her? She stormed all the way over here, but she doesn't know what to actually _do_. Or maybe it's just now that she's here those nerves and doubts are cropping back up. Okay, so that's definitely what it is, but she doesn't like to think so. No. Be strong. That's what she came here to do. Be strong and get answers.

With a deep breath she gets out of the car, checking traffic before hopping out, and darts around onto the sidewalk. She pauses outside the door of the diner and watches as Brittany stands at a table and laughs with an elderly couple. They're looking up at her much like every customer seems to; in awe and admiration. Does everyone in town love this girl? Not that Santana could blame them if they do.

She watches Brittany leave the table and head for the counter and realizes it's her moment. She quickly darts in and over to the counter, and she catches the blonde before she can go through the swinging door that leads behind it. "Brittany."

She sees the woman tense slightly and turn around, and Brittany doesn't look surprised in the slightest to see Santana. She even looks a little scared as her eyes dart around quickly. For what? To see who's watching? Santana looks around as well, but she doesn't see either of the mystery blondes watching over them.

Brittany takes a step away from the door of the counter, closer to Santana, and offers a half smile. "Hi."

"Hi." Her hands shove into the pouch-pocket of her hoodie and clasp together inside of it.

"You didn't come in today," Brittany says. Her eyes dart down and she pulls that lip between her teeth again. Ugh, that drives Santana crazy. Especially now that she knows what those lips taste like. It takes her several moments to realize she's still staring at Brittany's lips and she looks up quickly. Brittany's eyes are on her, burning into her, and she feels a shiver hit her spine.

"I-I..no. I didn't. Can you talk? I mean...do you have a break or something?"

Brittany shakes her head. "We close in a couple of hours. I have to close."

"Oh. Right." Santana nods and takes a step backwards. She shouldn't have been so stupid to think Brittany could drop everything and talk to her.

"You could come back," Brittany says, stepping forward as soon as Santana had stepped back, and maintaining that specific space between them. "I have to close up, but...you could come back. After the dish washer leaves I'll be alone. I have to clean up the dining room."

"O-Okay."

"We can...talk or whatever."

"Okay." Santana can't seem to get much else out, not when Brittany is gazing at her. Not when she keeps glancing at the blonde's delicious lips. Her body is actually _aching_ to press up against Brittany's again, so she takes yet another step backwards. "I'll just come back."

Again, Brittany takes a step forward. She nods. "Come back. I'll be here."

"Okay." Another step backwards and she crashes into something. At the same moment Brittany reaches out to grab her, keep her from the collision, but it's too late. She looks over her shoulder and sees Noah glaring at her. Okay, not a something. A someone. "Sorry," she says quickly. Usually she would yell at him to watch where he's going, but Brittany has her so completely off track.

He just gives her a single nod. "Watch where you're going," he says. "Coulda been a hot plate."

"Noah," Brittany's voice cuts between them in warning. Santana watches Noah look over at Brittany and shrug before heading off into the kitchen. She continues to watch him go before turning back to Brittany. It's then that they both realize Brittany's hands are still on Santana's forearms.

No wonder it had gotten so hot in here.

Brittany immediately drops her hands and Santana ducks her head. "I'll see you later," she says before heading for the door. Eyes forward this time. She feels Brittany's eyes on her back (How? How does she already feel something so intimate and familiar such as a gaze she can't see?), but continues on her way and leaves, the door jangling behind her.

* * *

She really didn't know what to do with herself, and had considered just going home for a few hours, but instead she had started wandering past the stores lining the street the diner is on. Now, she circles back around by the diner and glances at her watch. She still has time to kill. She sighs and heads over to her car. Before she can walk around to the driver's side someone comes out from the side alley behind the diner. Tall, mohawk, glare on his face; Noah.

His eyes are on Santana and she raises a brow at him. Without the presence of Brittany she has more control over herself. She's starting to sense this guy has a problem with her and she doesn't like it. "What?" She snaps.

He moves over to her side, slinging a backpack over his shoulder, and stops to look down at her challengingly. After several beats of silence and a darker glare from Santana, he speaks. "Walk with me."

"No thanks. I don't go anywhere with strangers."

He just gives her a look, his head tilting slightly. "_Please_, you've been eating my food for a month." But when her glare doesn't subside he sighs and holds out a hand. "Puck."

"I thought your name is Noah." Her arms cross over her chest as she ignores the proffered hand.

"Noah Puckerman. Britt has refused to call me Puck since we graduated. She says we're not kids anymore."

A slight flame of that jealousy strikes through her again at this guy calling her Britt. At the idea that he knows her that well, and the idea that he's gotten to be friends with her for so long. It takes her a moment, but she reaches out and shakes the hand he still has extended. "Santana."

"I know. C'mon." He nods to the sidewalk and she reluctantly lets herself fall into step with him.

They head up the same sidewalk she had chased Brittany down on the night before, and Santana keeps her eyes on the ground, waiting for the man to speak. She's not exactly sure what she's supposed to say to him and suddenly the idea of asking him things about Brittany sours her stomach.

"So. You visiting?" He asks.

"Yeah. House-sitting for a couple months," she answers.

"And you're from New York?"

"Yep," she nods and glances up at him. "But I've got a feeling you knew that already."

He nods as well and stops to look at her. "I also know you like my girl."

Her stomach heats up at that statement and she hesitates. It's true, it's so completely true, but admitting it to one of Brittany's friends feels like admitting it to Brittany herself, and she really can't do that yet. In her lack of words Puck just sighs.

"Look, I can tell you do. I don't blame you. Everyone that walks in that door gets a little crush on her. Hell, she and I fooled around in high school and it was awesome." He stops short when Santana glares up at him.

If the earlier comments struck jealousy inside of her, that one definitely did. Along with the jealousy came a desire to rip his face right off of his body and smash it into the ground. And maybe knee him in the crotch as hard ass she possibly could so he could never get near Brittany with it again.

"It was high school," he says. "Hasn't happened since. Look, my point is...yeah, Britt's awesome and gorgeous and about the sweetest person you'll ever meet, but..." He reaches a hand up to brush over his mohawk and shakes his head. "Just...don't, okay? You're leaving in a month and she'll still be here. She's not some...small town floozy you can just...swing through and..." He pauses again. "It's not gonna happen."

"Don't remember asking your opinion," Santana snaps at him. But something inside of her dies slightly, because his words are making her think even more that Brittany rides the straight-train. Despite that...mind blowing kiss, she has to, right? The blonde guy, now this Puck character...she's straight. And even if she's curious, Santana doesn't do that. She can't be with the 'curious' girls, because it always ends up making her feel like a whore.

"She's one of my best friends. I'm just looking out for her," he says. He heads over to a motorcycle parked on the curb.

"Maybe you should let her look out for herself," Santana shoots after him.

He climbs onto the bike and gives her one last warning look. "Night, New York," he says, before popping his helmet on his head.

Santana watches him pull away and watches the exhaust that follows him. She's not sure what to make of that conversation, of his warnings. Would he bother warning her if she had no chance in hell? Why did he feel the need to scare her off on Brittany's behalf?

This woman is going to make Santana crazy, this she knows for sure.

* * *

She manages to kill time long enough to head back to the diner. When she gets there it's dim inside and the only person she sees moving around is Brittany. She can't help but stop and stare for a moment. The girl is sweeping, but there must be music on because she's dancing as she does. Not just dancing; she's floating. Her moves are slow and languid, and it's mesmerizing. Santana doesn't even know how long she's stuck there staring. How does this woman get more and more beautiful in everything she does?

Brittany turns and catches sight of Santana. She stops her dancing and sweeping and stares back out at her for a moment before moving towards the door. Santana steps up to it and waits until Brittany unlocks and opens the door. They stare at each other silently for several beats.

"Hi," Brittany murmurs with a small smile.

"Hi," Santana replies. She thinks she's smiling, but she's not sure if it actually makes it to her lips. She's too awestruck by the sight before her. Brittany with her hair up on top of her head, jeans, and a white t-shirt. Something so simple, but so...perfect.

"Come in," Brittany finally says. She steps back and Santana moves through the doorway.

They stand there awkwardly, watching each other, but eventually Brittany reaches past Santana to push the door shut. With that body getting close to hers again Santana can't help but take a step backwards. Brittany's hand goes behind Santana's elbow to lock the door, and her other hands reaches around Santana's other side to switch the open sign to closed; something that hadn't been done yet. Now Brittany's arms are all but around Santana, and any oxygen that Santana could hope to breathe in is quickly slipping away. She takes another step backwards and is quickly met with the door on her back. She can't pull her eyes from Brittany's as they both get locked into each others stares. Those eyes. Santana could dream forever about those blue eyes and the secrets they seem to hold.

After what feels like forever, but is likely only minutes, Brittany takes another step closer. Her hands settle to the door behind Santana, one above her shoulder and the other by her elbow, and Santana gulps. Her head tips back a bit, because with the closer positions it's hard to see up into Brittany's eyes, and she's not so sure she wants to look anywhere else right now. She doesn't think she even could.

"Hi," Brittany whispers again. Santana can feel the words on her lips and it sends pleasurable shivers through her entire being. She's flashing back to the night before with their kiss and how it felt, and all she wants to do is grab Brittany and pull her close. All she can do however is stare up into those eyes.

"Hi," she whispers back.

Brittany's tongue brushes her bottom lip and Santana has to bite back a moan. She watches Brittany's face move closer to hers, their foreheads inches apart, and Santana's eyes close. "Hi," is whispered much closer against her face, and she feels herself melting back into the door, glad it's there to catch her.

"Hi," she replies even softer than before. She knows her voice sounds weak, needy, but she can't help it. Brittany's body is as close as it can get to her without touching her, and her lips are _right there_, and neither one of them is making the move. All Santana can feel is the pounding of her heart, and the way her body is screaming out for the one so close to hers. All she can hear is silence, Brittany's breathing, and a clock ticking the seconds away behind them. It's this moment, and this moment alone, that Santana has ever understood the phrase of time standing still.


	7. Chapter 7

**A**/**N**: Not a huge fan of a lot of author notes, but apparently this one is needed: Yes, I write slow-burn and have a thing for cliffhangers. My chapters end where I feel they should. It's just how I roll, so don't hate. /hemoshrug At least I'm not makin' you wait long between updates.

* * *

"Open your eyes."

Santana hears the words whisper over her lips and she can't decide whether to listen to them or not. There's hesitation, but after a moment she does open them. For some reason she can't not do what Brittany tells her to. Plus, she wants to see those eyes so close to her. She sucks her breath in sharply when she does look up into Brittany's eyes, because now instead of the bright blue she has slowly been getting so used to they're a few shades darker. Deep blue, with what can only be seen as want and desire. Seeing her eyes like that only makes Santana want her more, but she's being stubborn. She's not going to make the move this time. If Brittany wants something, Brittany can take it. She has tried and she keeps getting turned down. She doesn't want that again.

"Brittany.." Her own voice is shakier than she wishes it to be, but it's so hard to put up a strong facade right now.

"Sssh." Brittany leans in to close the space between them, finally giving their bodies that contact they both need, as she brushes a feather light kiss against Santana's jaw. She slides her lips down her jaw until she reaches her chin and moves up. Santana moans softly at all of it and waits for Brittany's lips on hers. She knows she shouldn't, she knows she needs to get the answers she came for, but this just feels so damn good. And then Brittany's mouth is on Santana's, and in that instant neither one of them seems able to hold back. Unlike the slow, sensual kiss from last night this one is fast and hard. Brittany pushes her body flush against Santana's while Santana winds her hands around to the small of Brittany's back, pulling the girl's hips harder against herself. She bites Brittany's bottom lip in slight surprise when the molding of their hips makes the blonde moan. She likes that sound. She likes it far more than she needs to right now.

Her fingers creep under the hem of Brittany's shirt until she finds skin. She lets her fingertips brush up the soft skin of Brittany's back and trails them down again. Brittany's hands are now off the door; one getting lost in Santana's hair, while the other finds it's way between Santana's body and the door to rest on her ass.

Santana can't think. She can't feel, and yet she feels everything at once. She's desperate for air (the already feverish kiss keeps getting hungrier as they go), but she doesn't want to stop. She doesn't want this moment to _ever_ stop. Suddenly Brittany's other hand is moving down to join the other and in one swift movement she hoists Santana off of her feet. It's the hottest thing she's ever felt. Her legs circle Brittany's waist as she's pushed back tighter against the door, and Brittany's lips tear from hers to kiss her jaw and her neck. The action is so fast, so hard, that Santana can feel teeth and she feels her hair getting pulled as it gets in Brittany's way. She drops her head back against the door behind herself and moans even louder, because god this girl knows what to do with her lips and her tongue.

It's so good, and she wants so much more, but somewhere between Brittany's mouth in the crook of her neck and over her throat she starts to blink and brings a hand out to the waitress's chin. It's the first thing she can catch. "Stop," she mutters hoarsely. She takes a deep breath and tries again. "Brittany, _stop_."

She feels a whimper against the hollow of her throat, a whimper like a child being stripped of their favorite treat, and she feels Brittany's tongue dart out to draw a line up the skin there. Santana moans again and moves her fingers over Brittany's lips to block her off. "You don't like it?" She pouts against Santana's fingers.

"No, not.." Her reply comes out in gasps as she feels Brittany kiss the fingers that lay over her lips and run her tongue against them, before sucking one into her mouth. Santana's eyes squeeze shut tighter. She's so turned on that she's having a hard time thinking beyond getting this girl's clothes off and getting her on her back. But she has to. She has to- "Brittany." She manages to get her voice a little louder and more direct, and Brittany releases her fingers. She pulls back far enough so that Santana can open her eyes and the two can look at each other.

It takes several moments for either one to even begin catching their breath, and Santana watches as the light slowly comes to Brittany's eyes. As she comes back down to earth. She's slightly disappointed when Brittany loosens her grip on her and let's her fall to her feet, but it's better. On her feet Santana can think. Brittany takes a step back to put space between them, and Santana just stares at her pleadingly.

"Don't do this to me," she says. She knows she sounds pathetic, begging like this, but she has to. She needs Brittany to stop. To make up her mind. "Don't just...yank me around."

She watches a pout form on Brittany's lips and she can feel her resolve crumbling inside. "I'm sorry," Brittany replies. "I...you're just _so_ hot."

Santana can't help but smirk slightly at that, but then she pushes the smirk away. "No! Brittany. We're supposed to be talking." She slips out of that space between Brittany and the door and moves across the diner. "Not making out at the door where the whole world can watch." Not that there isn't something extremely hot about that, but it's beside the point. Santana spins around to look at the girl behind her. "You can't keep...making me think that we could...and then saying that '_you can't_'." Her voice may quote those words a bit harshly, and Brittany flinches. She's watching Santana with those wide, blue eyes and Santana can barely think straight. "Do you like me or not?" The question comes out a lot quicker than she intends, and she's actually surprised it came out at all. She has been biting down on it for so long that it felt lost. She keeps her eyes on Brittany though, who can't do the same and looks down at her feet. Santana feels herself start to shake. She's going to be turned down again. She knows it. It's coming right now.

Brittany gazes up again. "It's more complicated than-"

"_No_. Do you like me?" She hates being this vulnerable, opening herself up to being let down again, but she needs to know.

The blonde finally just nods. "So much."

"Then...god, what's the problem?!" Santana is yelling. She knows she's yelling and that she shouldn't be, but this is what she does. She yells. "You're married, right? Is that what it is, you're married?"

"No," Brittany says softly, her head shaking.

"You have a boyfriend? That guy last night?"

"No." More head shaking.

Santana pauses and thinks to the pretty girl from yesterday. "A girlfriend?"

"No."

As hot and incredible as this girl is, Santana almost wants to grab her and shake her. This isn't getting them anywhere. Her yelling is cooling down though. That's something. She thinks for a moment. "Have you never been with a girl? Are you afraid-"

""I have," Brittany says carefully. "I...don't really see it as one or the other. Boys or girls."

Okay, so she's bi or pan or something. Santana could care less about a label. "I'm lost then. I don't understand why...if you like me, why we can't-" She stops when Brittany closes her eyes, a look of pure internal struggle across her face. She just waits.

After another few beats Brittany opens her eyes and lets out a breath. Santana keeps her eyes on the girl as she crosses to the side of the diner towards the cash register. On the wall behind it is a pin board covered in ads, newspaper articles, and pictures. She watches Brittany pull something down from the board and hold it against her chest. Santana still hasn't quite caught her breath from the kiss, from the yelling, so she stands there with her chest rising and falling as she waits for Brittany.

Brittany turns around and slowly walks back over to her. She stops at arms length from Santana and pulls the object from her chest before holding it up for her to see. It's a picture. A picture of a little blonde boy, sitting in a high chair there in the diner, with a cake that holds a "2" candle. At first Santana is confused as she examines it, but the moment she locks onto his blue eyes she gets it. She gets it before Brittany even speaks.

"He's mine. My son."


	8. Chapter 8

_ Santana watches Brittany guide a family out the door with a smile and wave, and the brunette sighs in relief. She's not sure how no one kicked them out with the way their kid was fussing and screaming for half the meal. Santana even has a headache now because of it. When Brittany passes back by her, she smirks._

_ "Not sure how you do that."_

_ "Do what?" Brittany asks, the smile still on her face._

_ "Pretend like that's not the most annoying thing in the world."_

_ "What? The kid?" She shrugs. "Kids will be kids, getting annoyed by it doesn't change anything."_

_ "You must really like kids," Santana snorts._

_ "You don't?"_

_ "Oh I like them fine. As long as I don't have to be anywhere near them."_

* * *

Santana takes the picture to examine it closer, and she can't stop the small smile that comes. "He's beautiful," she says. And it's the truth. How could he be anything but, given who created him?

"Thanks," Brittany says softly. She gently takes the picture from Santana and holds it to her chest, as though she needs to guard it, before moving over to sit down at the counter. She sets the picture down in front of herself. Santana follows her over and sits beside her, still glancing down at the picture.

"So he's why?"

"Yeah," Brittany nods. She looks over to Santana. "He's why."

"But-"

"You don't like kids." The words are said simply, a matter of fact, but there's a twinge of sadness to it.

"What- ...oh." She thinks back to that moment the week before with the loud child in the diner. She frowns "Yeah I-...but you could have given me the benefit of the doubt and given me a chance to-"

"No." The word is calm, but stronger than the last, and direct. Brittany's face falls emotionless as she stares at Santana. "Not when it comes to him. I'm all for living life in the moment and taking everything as it comes, but not with him. He's..." Her eyes flicker down and back up, and she licks her lips. "He's the only thing I _know_ I can do right. I don't screw around with anything that..." The words fade out and she looks away from Santana's gaze.

"Don't screw around with someone who doesn't like kids." Santana finishes the sentence for her, her own voice falling flat. She feels a coldness run through her body that she's not used to feeling around Brittany.

"No! I didn't mean that. It's just...his world has to be beautiful and magical for as long as I can make it that way. Every decision I make depends on him and him alone. He's...my perfect little prince." Her voice gets a bit dreamy with the words, and she runs her fingers along the edges of his picture.

She should be really touched by this, by the kind of mother Brittany clearly is, but Santana's still hurt. "I'm not asking..." Her head shakes. "All I wanted was a date, to get to know you better, but if I'm gonna fuck up his world just by taking you out then-" She moves to her feet, but Brittany's hand shoots out to grab her wrist. She pauses without meeting Brittany's eyes.

"That's not fair, Santana. If..._any_ other time, I'd be okay with a fling. You wouldn't have to meet him, he wouldn't have to know you exist, and...then it would be over and everything would be normal, but..." She tugs on Santana's wrist until the brunette looks her in the eye, and for once she has to look down to meet Brittany's eyes. Eyes that are again tinted with gray, and Santana sees the glimmer of tears rising in them. It pulls at her heart much harder than she wishes it would. "I've been..._so_ completely addicted to you from the second I saw you." The confession sends busts of happiness and want through Santana, but she knows she can't get too happy about it. She waits silently. "But...I have a kid."

Santana turns their hands so she can grasp onto Brittany's. Seeing the girl start to break down like this is tearing her heart up. How? Why is this making her feel so much when they hardly know each other? When they haven't even gone on one date? "So...you can't go on a date with me because you have a kid, and I don't like kids." Now she's even more confused, because didn't she just say she could have a fling without ever introducing her to her son?

_Fling_. For some reason that word sits sourly in her stomach when thinking about herself to Brittany, even though that's all it could be given the circumstances.

"And because I don't think I could make myself think of you as _only_ a fling," the blonde further admits. Apparently, she reads minds too. "I want to get to know you, too. I want to spend as much time with you as I can while you're here, but most of my time not being at work is consumed by being a mom."

Santana grasps onto Brittany's hand tighter with one hand while letting the other move up to her face. She brushes her thumb beneath her eye to catch the tears there, then does the same under the other eye. Her wet thumb trails down the curve of Brittany's cheek bone. Why is she so attached already? How is it even possible? The gray-blue eyes are locked onto Santana's and she can't look anywhere else.

"I'm his mom," she says softly. "Before being Brittany, I'm Jonah's mom. Always."

Despite the tears and the redness of Brittany's eyes, despite the seriousness of the moment, Santana's lips turn up into a small smile. "You never told me his name," she answers when Brittany looks at her in confusion.

"Jonah," she nods. "Jo-Jo."

Santana looks over at the picture and studies the boy carefully. "Jonah," she repeats slowly.

It scares her, if she's truthful with herself. The idea of dating someone with a kid comes with all sorts of questions and baggage. Does it mean Brittany's looking for a second parent more so than just dates? Will it mean Santana has to be more serious about everything quicker? And what is she even supposed to say if she meets this kid? What's the story with where he come from? She's not sure about any of it. She's never dated a woman with a child before and it's kinda really scary, but she's also never met anyone like Brittany before. She's wanted to know her better from day one, so is she really going to let her stupid fears get in her way? Hasn't she already been down that path?

She squeezes Brittany's hand in hers and looks down at her again. She moves to reclaim her seat and wraps both hands around Brittany's, then holds them in her lap. She hasn't spent three weeks pining after this girl to give up that easily. Santana Lopez doesn't just _give up_. (Not anymore at least.)

"I'd still like to take Jonah's mom on a date," she says slowly. "If she'd be willing to give me a chance...and I understand that he comes first." She watches Brittany's eyes slowly light up, a smile start to pull at her lips, and the gray in her eyes begin to go blue again.

"Yeah?" The word comes out as a soft breath more than anything else.

Santana nods and keeps her eyes on Brittany's, because they're beautiful, _she's_ beautiful, and if she looks away she might be too scared to get the words out. "Yeah. Because...I'm so completely addicted to you, too." The words sound weaker on her lips than they had on Brittany's, but it doesn't change the validity of them.

The smile on Brittany's lips turns into a beam, and her eyes crinkle in delight. "Seriously?"

"Totally," Santana nods. She feels her own smile coming forth, finally, just from the way Brittany is looking at her.

"And...it's really okay that I have a kid even though you hate kids? And that sometimes I can't even put my clothes on right because being a mom makes me more scatterbrained than ever? And that sometimes I just start crying, because I have a beautiful son and I don't know how I deserve him? And-"

Santana leans in and shuts Brittany's quick rambling up with a soft kiss. Different again from the night before, and the one against the door. She feels Brittany sigh against her lips and she smiles, moving her lips to place a kiss on Brittany's cheek. "If he's anything like you...I'm sure he's amazing," she whispers; and she means it one hundred percent.

* * *

After a few minutes of sitting close in their silence, Santana pulls back. She straightens her hair and clears her throat. "You should probably finish cleaning."

"It's okay," Brittany says, glancing around the diner. "I did most of it." She meets Santana's eyes. "I don't care."

Santana just chuckles. "A rule breaker...hot."

"You think?" Brittany teases with that sexy smirk on her face.

Oh boy. "Yeah, definitely hot," she nods.

Brittany laughs and sits up straighter. "Sooo...Jo-Jo's at my parent's tonight and I was gonna just sleep there since he's already in bed..." She looks a little nervous. "So I don't have to rush home or anything. We could hang out and...just talk for awhile."

"I'd really like that."

"Good! I have a great idea!" Brittany jumps up excitedly and pulls Santana with her. Santana lets herself be pulled with a laugh and soon they're around behind the counter. "Sit down," she orders.

"I don't know," Santana says, looking at the floor warily.

"Oh relax," she replies with an eye roll. "I mopped it. _Sit_." That must be her forceful mother tone, because Santana hears it and sits. "I'll be right back."

Santana watches her go and shakes her head with a little smile. She had no idea her night would lead her to this moment, but she's glad it has. She's buzzing beneath her skin with how happy she feels right now, and she doesn't want to let any doubt, concerns, or fear shadow over that. She takes out her phone and sends Kurt a quick text. It's only fair, given how much he's had to hear her complain.

**And she's still got it. Date's gonna happen.**

It only takes seconds for the reply to come.

_Fantastic. Does this means I won't be subjected to endless phone calls about her?_

**Nope. You know you like the gossip.**

_I do, that's why I'm going to spread the gossip on to Rach._

Santana rolls her eyes and starts to reply, but Brittany comes back from inside the kitchen. Her arms are full and she stumbles into sitting beside Santana, who tries to catch her with a laugh. "What's all this?"

"We-ellll, since you might not get to take me out for a little while...this is our practice date."

"Practice date?" Yeah, she's smiling. How can she not when the girl is this cute?

"Uh huh." Brittany dumps some emergency tea light candles onto the floor and spreads them out a bit as she starts to light them. "Because _you're_ coming up with our first date, and our first date can't be on a floor, so...this is practice." She grins and jumps up to turn off any lingering lights. Darkness surrounds them except for the candles, and Brittany settles back down. She pulls over a pie tray with a full pie that she had set down with everything else. "Apple," she says. "Noah made it for tomorrow and it's still warm." And then she grabs the container of vanilla ice cream she brought from the freezer. She holds up a fork and a spoon. "Pick one," she grins.

"You're really something else," Santana smirks, taking the fork.

"Is that a good thing?" The blonde presses the spoon against her lips, twirling it slightly, and Santana nods quickly.

"Definitely a good thing."

Brittany pushes the pie and ice cream between them and digs in, not bothering with plates. Santana follows her lead. Calories be damned, Brittany's worth it.

"Aren't you gonna get into trouble for this?"

Brittany pops a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth and draws the spoon out slowly, her tongue licking the edges. She swallows and looks at Santana with those blue eyes shadowing darker again. "I thought you said me breaking the rules is hot," she answers in a low voice. Her tongue presses deep into the dip of the spoon. Santana is momentarily lost for words at the tongue action and look in the other girl's eyes.

Oh _hell _is she ever in trouble.


	9. Chapter 9

Santana is sitting with her back to the shelves that sit below the counter, and her legs are stretched out in front of her. Brittany is sitting across from her, her back to the wall of the kitchen, also with her legs stretched out. There's an inch of space between Santana's right leg and Brittany's left, and she's glad for it. She has already learned that she doesn't think too easily with Brittany touching her in any way.

The pie and ice cream have been put up, and some of the candles burning around them have gone out. Santana is watching her hands, but she feels Brittany watching her in the silence they have fallen into. She risks a glance up and meets the unreadable look in the blonde's eyes. She feels like she's being studied, observed, and she's not too sure how she feels about that.

She shifts slightly as her eyes fall down again. "What?" She mumbles out.

"I still don't know much about you," Brittany confesses.

Santana snorts softly. "I just told you all about work and school, and Kurt.."

"Yeah, but..."

She looks up to Brittany again and measures that 'but' quietly in her mind. She's not good at this. At being open and honest, at having someone look at her the way Brittany is now. It's horrifying, but it's also...not. Something about being under the scrutiny of Brittany's gaze almost makes her feel...important. It's why the words pop out before she can stop them. "Ask me anything." It's a whisper of a challenge, and she lets Brittany know with her eyes that this is an offer that doesn't come around often. She watches those blue eyes understand that and process it carefully, and then she watches as Brittany considers what to ask.

She sits nervously as she waits for the question, whatever it could be, and runs every possibility through her mind so that she's prepared. So she has the right kind of answer for the girl.

"If you could have anything of your choice written on your tombstone, what would it be?"

The question is surprising and Santana just raises a brow at the girl across from her. "Little morbid, isn't it?"

"I don't think so," Brittany shrugs.

Santana twists her lips as she thinks the question over. It's definitely not something she's ever thought about before, and it takes awhile before her shoulders lift in a slight shrug. "Santana Lopez: She knew who she was." Her eyes flicker to a spot over Brittany's head so that she misses the slight frown on the waitresses lips as she mulls the answer over.

"And do you?"

The question beats at the silence between them for several moments before Santana just sighs and gives in. "Hopefully by the end I will." Her fingers wind tighter together, and she quickly speaks again to get the subject off of herself. "What about you? What would yours say?"

"Brittany Pierce: mother, wife, daughter, and believer that anything is possible," she says a bit wistfully.

The words clench at Santana's heart in a way that she doesn't understand. She thinks the words are beautiful, but one grabs her more than the others. "Wife?"

"Yeah...one day. I mean, at the end it's about the people you have to share your love with, right?"

"I guess so," Santana nods slowly. She's not so sure she's a believer in the sanctity of marriage, mostly because most of the country doesn't deem it legal or 'right' for her just yet, but also because she has yet to believe in love in that way. She clears her throat. "Have you ever been close? I mean...Jonah's dad?"

Brittany smirks over at her. "I thought I was asking all the questions."

"Hey, I think you know more about me than I do about you," she shoots back with her own smirk.

Brittany nods. "Okay." It's her turn to fidget in her seat slightly, and she looks up to find Santana's gaze. This time Santana doesn't look away. "We were engaged."

"What happened?" She knows she's getting to the tough questions fast, but it's the jealousy pushing her along. The need to know that Brittany is one hundred percent free.

"He still lives in Indianapolis and comes to see Jonah as many weekends as he can. We're just friends now," Brittany shrugs.

"The guy from last night?"

There's hesitation before Brittany nods. "Sam."

Santana knows there's more to it than that, but Brittany obviously doesn't want to talk about it yet. Instead of pressing further she keeps hold of that eye contact, because while she's on a roll she just needs to know. "And the girl? The blonde?"

"Quinn. My best friend." Brittany smiles softly, her head tilting. "She really wanted to meet you."

"What, did you talk about me or something?"

"To the point where she wanted to strangle me, I think."

She had been mostly teasing when she asked the question, but hearing the answer sends warm sparks through Santana's body. Her cheeks warm up and she smiles, and there's nothing playful or flirtatious about the smile. It's real and genuine. "Really?"

"Really. But it's _my_ turn to ask questions."

"By all means...ask away." She can't help the slightly playful tone that they're now shooting back and forth. It's fun, and more than that it's comfortable.

"Any boys or girls I should be worried about getting in the way of?"

She snorts. "Definitely not boys, and..no. No girls lately."

"Oh _definitely_?" Brittany reaches a hand over Santana's ankles and places it on the floor to lean her weight on. Even though they're still not touching, they're that much closer, and Santana feels the static in the air shift. She also realizes Brittany is smirking at her and waiting for clarification.

"Lost my virginity to a guy, swore I'd never do it again. And I haven't." She has no problem fessing up to that part of her past. She never cared enough for it to matter.

"And when you lost your lady-virginity?"

Somehow that word on those lips sends a shiver down Santana's back, but she ignores it to shake her head. "My lady-virginity?"

"Yeah. The first time you were with a girl," Brittany says, as it's the most obvious thing ever.

Santana can feel her face heat up again. This would be one of the not so easy things for her to talk about. Not talking about it has actually served her really, really well over the years. She likes not talking about it. But the way Brittany is looking at her... "High school," she answers simply. "What about you?" She can't deny that she's curious.

"First time ever was with a girl freshman year of high school. First time with a boy was, like...a week later." She shrugs, her blonde hair falling perfectly across her tilted face and neck. It's taking all of Santana's willpower to not reach out and brush it back.

"Were they serious?"

"Nah, I mean...it took me awhile to learn how to be in a serious relationship."

Santana chooses not to read into that and just nods. It's not like she knew what she was doing in high school herself. She had become quite the player once Lina and her family disappeared. "Do you...do you prefer one over the other?" She's not asking to be nosy, she's genuinely curious about other people's sexuality and how it differs from her own. She watches Brittany think the question over for a moment.

"It's like I said before...it's not about one or the other, it's the person. Don't you find yourself having a connection to one partner more than another?"

The question is asked in a low tone, and despite the seriousness of it, Santana can't help but feel something fire through her at the words. She just nods. "Yeah, I guess so."

"It's the same for me. Sex isn't just about body parts and how they're used or touched, it's about who you're with. What you're sharing with them. And if there's no connection, the sex just sucks. If there is a connection, it's...amazing." A tinge of red creeps up on Brittany's cheeks and Santana can tell it's not from embarrassment. There's something so completely intimate about the topic of conversation and the way those words spill off of the blonde's lips, and Santana has to shift in her spot for reasons other than nerves.

"Sounds sappy to me," Santana says jokingly, trying to lighten the mood.

"I guess I'm a sap then," Brittany shrugs unapologetically. "Okay. So...you took a couple years off of college, right?" Santana nods slowly at that, her smile fading. "How come?"

"It was...something I needed to do for myself," the brunette replies after a long break. Her voice is softer, and she's picturing an all too familiar and painful face in her mind. She pushes that woman away to gaze back at the one that's actually with her. "I went back. That's all that matters."

* * *

They're down to two candles still lit around them, and the softer light is complementing Brittany's face so well that Santana can't look away. The way the shadows and lights bounce off of the other girl's face seems almost magical, and she's not sure she's ever seen anything so...beautiful and perfect.

Brittany has shifted a bit closer by now, her knees bent and legs wrapped beside herself. Her knees are touching Santana's thighs and her fingers are gently dancing with the brunette's fingers. Santana just watches as their fingertips softly brush together. She's not so sure she can even feel her hand anymore, and she doesn't care. Tonight has already exceeded anything she could have begun to imagine it being.

She's been listening to a cute kid story, chuckling at the appropriate moments (the best she can guess them), but mostly enjoying the way Brittany's face lights up as she talks. It only seems to make her all the more beautiful when she speaks about Jonah, and her love for him is blindingly obvious.

"If you could go back and do it differently, would you?" She asks, once Brittany's story winds down.

"What?"

"Having a kid at your age."

Brittany's fingers still against Santana's, her wrist resting on the brunette's thigh, and she frowns. "Never."

"Even if you could've like...gone to school, or kept teaching? You probably wouldn't have ended up working here, right?"

Brittany licks her lips slowly and presses them together. It was definitely the wrong thing to ask, and Santana starts to stiffen. "It hasn't been easy, and...it won't be any time soon, but..." Her eyes fall to their linked fingers. "I can't imagine a world where I don't have him. I don't think I'd like that world at all." Her voice is soft and pained in a way that Santana hopes she never has to hear again. She lets her fingers turn up and weave through Brittany's to hold them tight.

"I'm sorry, I-I shouldn't have-"

"No...it's fine." Brittany's head shakes and she still doesn't look up or squeeze back. "You don't get it. How could you?" Santana watches her pull her bottom lip into her mouth and rub her teeth over it. "You said...you said by the end you want to have it all figured out?" Santana nods. "I figured it out the day Jonah was born. The moment I held him in my arms, I knew who I was. It had nothing to do with the bad things that got me there, or...any of the sadness in my heart...it was just there. It clicked. I'm me, and the best thing I can do is be that every single day. To the best of my ability, because whatever I've been through and whatever I'll go through, I'll always be his mom. I won't say he fixed me, because he didn't, but...I don't know. He helped me accept myself and realize that just because of him, my life has already been worth it. All of it. So maybe it's selfish, because if I'd done things differently maybe he could have had a better life, but...no, I wouldn't change anything."

"You're amazing." The words slip out in a breath on their own, and Santana clamps her mouth shut. Brittany finally looks up, her eyes misty again, and at last squeezes the hand woven through hers. Santana finds herself unable to keep her eyes on Brittany's in that moment and she looks down. She squeezes the blonde's hand back. "For what it's worth...it sounds like he's really lucky to have you for a mom."

Before she knows what's happening Santana's chin is being tipped up by those wonderful, gentle fingers, and lips are pressing to hers softly. Her eyes close and she leans in to the kiss as she lets her lips push back just as lightly. There's nothing needy or rushed about it, but it heats through her just like their last one had, and the one before that.

Brittany's lips pull from hers, barely, before whispering a soft, "thanks," against Santana's mouth.

She finally opens her eyes to look at the woman only inches away from her, and a sigh escapes her lips and mixes with Brittany's breath. "God you're gorgeous," she murmurs before she can stop it. Immediately her cheeks feel like they're on fire and she sits back. "Sorry. I-I don't know why I-"

The waitress giggles and looks down, her own cheeks blushing red. "Don't apologize. I like hearing that from you."

Santana sits back against the counter and plays with her hands in her lap, unable to meet Brittany's gaze anymore. "So...good practice date?"

"Best practice date ever," Brittany nods with a grin. Santana glances up and her lips slowly curl into a matching grin, because it's impossible to look at Brittany's grin and not return it. "Bu-ut," the waitress draws out slowly and reluctantly. "I should probably get back to my parents'. Jo-Jo likes waking up really early, and he eats Cheerios and I eat Fruity Pebbles and we stick our cereal in our noses- okay, well, he does that, but..." she shrugs with a smile. "It's our morning thing."

"Sounds...like a blast," Santana laughs. She leans over and blows out the last two candles before getting to her feet and offering her hands to help Brittany up. "I'll drive you home?"

"Can we make out in your car?"

She laughs again as Brittany stands. "If you're lucky."

* * *

"This is it," Brittany says, peering out the passenger side window.

"So this is where you grew up?" Santana looks over at the dark house as she puts the car into park.

"Yep. My parents have lived here for, like...ever. I don't think they'll ever move." Santana gets out and walks around to open Brittany's door for her. Brittany beams at her as she gets out of the car. "You know how to treat someone like a lady."

Santana smirks and offers a hand to her. "Well, let me walk you to the door, m'lady."

"Mm, catch me before I swoon," Brittany chuckles. But she takes Santana's hand and squeezes it as she leads them up the drive.

"I don't know if you want to trust me that far," Santana warns. "I don't have the best reflexes."

"I don't know," Brittany shrugs. "I think I trust you just fine."

Santana follows her up onto the porch. "Might want to wait a few more days on that," she tries to joke.

"Why?" Brittany turns to face her and tilts her head slightly. "Planning on breaking my heart already?"

That catches Santana off-guard and she mouths wordlessly for a moment. "I...uh, I-"

Brittany giggles and pulls her hand free before tucking both hands into the pouch of Santana's sweatshirt. She locks her hands together inside the pocket and gives a small yank, pulling Santana closer. "You're really cute when you get speechless like that."

They're close again. Incredibly close. Santana can't move her eyes from Brittany's lips, because they're right there above hers. She tries to smile back, but only the corners of her lips rise. Otherwise her mouth trembles slightly in anticipation and nervousness. Why is she nervous to kiss her again? It's not like it's their first kiss or anything. "M'not cute," she murmurs, eyes still locked on those...perfect lips.

"Yeah...totally cute," Brittany breathes softly as she leans in even closer. Santana slides her hands into the pocket of her sweatshirt to find Brittany's hands, and the four hands lace together in the confines of the warm fabric. "So...do practice dates get goodnight kisses?"

"Sure..." Santana whispers. "For practice."

"Right...practice..."

Brittany's lips close in on hers again, and Santana isn't too sure if the moan is hers or Brittany's, but it gets lost somewhere between their joined mouths. Once again, like their first kiss, every movement is met perfectly in sync. Their tongues find each other as if on cue, as if rehearsed, and everything is gentle and slow. Santana grips her fingers tighter to Brittany's, because she's sure her hands are shaking from what this kiss is doing to her insides. To her heart. God, kisses have never been like this before. It's sweet and spicy and terrifying all at once, and she's really not sure how her knees are still holding her up.

Their mouths slowly part, breath thick and hot between them, and she takes a long breath in and out before opening her eyes. Even then she's not sure she's caught her breath yet. When her eyes open she instantly finds herself looking into Brittany's blue, blue eyes, and it sends somersaults through her stomach.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" She asks in a whisper.

"I work at eleven," Brittany whispers back, as she slowly untangles her fingers from Santana's.

"Okay." She bites her lip and forces herself to let Brittany's hands free, then grips her own together tightly as they stay hidden in the pocket.

"Goodnight, Santana." A sweet and adoring smile crops up on Brittany's face and Santana returns it shyly.

"Goodnight, Brittany."

She waits. She waits as Brittany backs up to the door. She waits as Brittany fumbles through her bag for her keys. Waits as the blonde struggles to get the keys in the lock and open the door, and waits as she watches Brittany smile over her shoulder before disappearing inside. She watches the door close and waits as she listens to the lock tumble shut.

And she lets out the shaky breath she didn't even realize she had been holding.

She turns and walks back to her car, trying hard to not smile as wide as she knows she is, and climbs in and starts the engine. She sits there a moment as the car hums to life, and shakes her head; her lips and body and heart still buzzing.

Lima just might be the most amazing place she's ever been.


	10. Chapter 10

**A**/**N**: So apparently this is a needed note after the last chapter and one of its reveals.

This is an AU. This means that the characters are not exactly the same as in the show. Their personalities are shaped as _I_ see them, with the qualities I choose to (or not to) include. That being said, I used to like Sam pre-S4. A lot. I used to even slightly ship Bram back in S2 before they were shit upon character-wise. I don't ship Bram now, and I don't like what the writers have turned Sam into this season (or Brittany for that matter). But the point is, this Sam is not that Sam. Whatever relationship they had in the past in this world is not the relationship they have in canon. Their story together is _not_ cut and dry. Please try not to assume anything about it until you've read further. If you want to give up reading this story because of Sam's inclusion in it, then I can't stop you. But please give me the benefit of the doubt. Brittany isn't with him any more for a reason. And yes, he's going to be around, because the Sam in my head would never be a deadbeat dad. And I'm not sorry that he is the father, because again, everything has its purpose and reason.

I get that canon turns certain elements off for people, and I'm sorry if that means you don't like what I've chosen to do. I write Sam, always, as he was before when I really liked him. The good guy, the caring guy, and the guy that isn't as stupid as the show has made him now. Doesn't mean I have any desire to make him endgame with Britt. Stories, lives, take a process. Wrapped up in Santana's process, we'll find Brittany's too. Bear with me and see where it takes them both, please.

I've been really blown away by the positive reactions to my story and I hope I can continue to please you all with it, even if that means losing some readers. As always, feel free to find me on tumblr at frayedattheends.

(And I'm sorry if this came off bitchy, that was not my intent.)

* * *

For what might be the first time in her life (or at least in a really really long time) Santana doesn't hate the sun that's shining through the window and casting a warm glow over her slowly waking body. She's not fully conscious, but she feels happy and warm. Why? She has no idea. But the sun feels good, and the light sheets that lay haphazardly on her body are soft and make her want to burrow under them. It's when she stretches and yawns that she starts to remember.

Brittany.

A smile slowly spreads on her lips and her eyes close as she leans back into her pillow with a soft giggle. Thank god no one can see her right now. She clamps her hands over her face, which she feels going warm from something other than the sunshine, and she let's out a slight groan.

"Get a grip, Lopez," she mutters to herself. She sits up and pushes wild, dark locks off her face. No. No there is no grip, because last night she kissed Brittany. Not once, but four times. Four incredible, hypnotizing kisses; all different from the ones before. Kissing the waitress definitely isn't boring. Santana's tongue runs along her lips lightly as she remembers what it felt like to have the other girl's tongue on those lips the night before, her teeth, and she shudders in pleasure. She could just kiss the girl forever. Well, other things too, but the kissing-

_Ding-dong_

Who the fuck is ringing her doorbell at ten in the morning? She throws the blankets off of herself and grabs her clothes from the night before off of the floor. She's not so sure greeting anyone at the door in just her t-shirt and underwear would be a good idea. Well...unless it's Brittany. She pauses, her jeans half-way up her thighs, as she thinks about that scenario.

Maybe the blonde would look her over slowly, her eyes going that deep blue shade they go when she's turned on (yes, Santana has already made note of the fact), and her lip might pull between her teeth. And maybe whatever she came over for would be forgotten and she'd rush in to kiss her, and push her up against the wall and press that incredible body against hers. Brittany's perfect thigh settling forcefully between her own legs, and-

_Ding-dong_

Really? She can't even stop and have a nice little fantasy? She grumbles incoherently to herself as she buttons her jeans and throws her sweatshirt on. Easier than struggling into her bra. She pulls her hair back into a messy ponytail and makes her way to the front door as the bell rings again. She's pretty sure she's going to strangle whoever is on the other side.

She flings the door open, glare set on her face. "Look, whatever you're selling I don't-" She pauses with her mouth open when she sees Kurt on the doorstep. Behind him Sugar and Rachel stand grinning at her. Kurt just smiles primly and looks her over.

"Late night?"

Santana reaches out and punches his shoulder. "What the fuck are you doing here? You could have warned me!"

"Ow!" He grabs his shoulder and frowns. "Is that any way to greet your most favorite gay in the world?"

"Hi Santana!" Rachel beams from the background, but Santana ignores her and pulls her roommate into a tight hug. She doesn't know why these people are suddenly here in Lima, but damn if she isn't happy to see them. Well. Kurt, at least. (She's happy to see the other two of course, she just won't admit it.)

"Seriously," she says against Kurt's shoulder, not letting go. "What are you guys doing here?"

Sugar moves up and yanks Kurt away so she too can hug her oldest friend. "Kurt said you were really sad and lonely and depressed about the waitress girl, so Daddy let us borrow the jet."

"Right, the jet." Santana rolls her eyes, but hugs the girl warmly. She sighs into the hug. "And I'm not sad or lonely or depressed about the waitress girl."

"In my defense, plans were already underway when you sent me that text last night," Kurt shrugs. He glances around. "Are you going to invite us in or are we going to have our entire reunion for all of Hicksville to see?"

Santana nods and lets go of Sugar then steps aside so the three can file in. She closes the door behind them and Rachel immediately latches onto her in an all too tight hug. Santana pats her back lightly. "Hi Rachel."

"We know how much you miss home so we thought we'd bring home to you!" Rachel says as she finally lets go.

"So where's my pizza? The pizza here sucks."

"We brought _ourselves_, Santana," Kurt says with an eye roll. He steps further into the house and starts looking around. "This is so adorable and quaint!"

Santana is still a bit in shock at the sudden arrival of her guests, but she can't deny that she's happy to have them here. She just wishes she had known so she could have showered or something. She would have planned her day according-

Oh.

She can't go see Brittany at the diner with her friends in town. There's no way they would let her go without them, and she's definitely not introducing them yet. Far too soon to scare the girl off.

"Soooo...how long are you guys staying?" She asks with a brow raise.

"Just the weekend," Kurt replies, studying a baby picture of Santana. "Ready to be rid of us already?" He looks over his shoulder with a smirk. "Now that you got the waitress you don't need us?"

"I didn't 'get' the waitress," she grumbles as her arms cross her chest. "And her name's Brittany."

Sugar grins and sits down on the couch. "When do we get to meet her?!"

It really is too early for Sugar. And Rachel. There's a reason Santana doesn't tend to put up with them before noon. Her head shakes and she starts for the kitchen. "I need coffee."

"Do you have any tea?" Rachel asks, trailing behind her.

* * *

It's a little weird sitting around her abuela's small kitchen table with her friends, and Rachel, but there's also something a little comforting about it. After providing everyone with coffee (and tea for Rachel), Santana rummages around and finds a box of Nutri-Grain bars. Sugar and Rachel take one and eat as they all start to fill Santana in on the happenings in New York over the last few weeks. She's really only partially listening, because she keeps glancing over to the clock. It's not that she's not glad to have her friends suddenly here with her, she just really wants to see Brittany. Her heart is pounding in her chest at the idea of seeing that face again and the anticipation of it.

She's lame. She knows she's lame, but she can't help it. She's obsessed.

"Earth to Satan."

She blinks and shakes out of her locked gaze on the clock and looks over at Kurt. "What? Sorry."

His head shakes and he leans back in his chair to give her a judgmental stare. "Are you counting down time so you can go see her?"

The other two girls whip their heads to Santana in wait for an answer, but she just snorts. "No. I was just...thinking."

"Oh my GOD. You have it so bad!" Sugar exclaims as she bounces in her seat. "And you haven't slept with her yet! This is so awesome. I mean, you haven't been into someone like this since Becca. _Train _wreck."

Two sets of eyes snap to Sugar with glares, but Santana just closes hers. She takes a deep breath and tries to let go of the sudden rigidness that takes over her body with that reminder. She counts slowly in her head, because she tries really really hard not to lash out at Sugar. It usually only leads to childish behavior on the other girl's part.

"What?" Sugar asks in a stage whisper. Santana can't see what's going on, but knowing Kurt he's giving Sugar death glares.

"We're not supposed to mention the B-word," Rachel replies in her own harsh whisper that isn't really a whisper.

"Oh..right, sorry," Sugar says weakly. "I'm so sorry Santana."

She opens her eyes and takes one more deep breath before meeting Sugar's gaze. "It's fine," she says flatly. "She's nothing like Becca though. She's..." One shoulder rises and falls in a half shrug. She's sweet, is her unfinished statement. Sweet, caring, and responsible. Santana can't really see those soft, gentle hands tearing out her heart like the other woman had. Then again, she never thought Becca would either.

Her brows knit together and she stares down into her coffee. Maybe she _is_ getting too excited too soon. Yeah, Brittany is hot and fun to talk to, but they've really only just started getting to know each other. Hell, even after a year she wouldn't know Brittany. It's impossible to ever completely know someone, isn't it?

"Sugar, let's get the luggage out of the rental car," Rachel says in a loud, obvious voice. Santana doesn't raise her head and barely listens to the conversation.

"What? Why?"

"Just come with me, please."

She waits. Waits as she listens to chairs scrape the floor, hears the two girls bicker on their way towards the front door, and only looks up when she hears the door close behind them. She meets Kurt's waiting gaze and sets her shoulders back in preparation for whatever he clearly wants to say.

"What?" She asks.

He continues to watch her for a moment and she sees the words tumbling through the forefront of his mind. He picks up his coffee and takes a sip, not taking his eyes off of Santana, then finally speaks. "Don't talk yourself out of it."

"I'm not...there's no 'it' yet to worry about," she argues.

"Santana." Clearly he isn't buying it.

"_What_?"

"You're crazy about this woman, so don't bother denying it to me. And while I'm still awaiting the details of last night I do know that something good happened, right?" She reluctantly nods as she looks back down into her coffee. "Then stop worrying so much. Que sera sera and all that jazz."

"I haven't liked someone this much in..." She stops and thinks, biting back the realization that has been gnawing at her for days. She hadn't even felt this way about Becca when they first met. Yeah, she fell hard in love with her, but the beginning? It hadn't been like this. Nothing has been like this. "She's different than all of them," she finally gets out. "And I'm leaving in a month."

"Then take the month to see what's there and see where it takes you."

Her eyes raise to Kurt's and she watches him for a moment. "She has a kid."

His eyes widen and she waits as he takes a moment to process that. He nods slowly. "Well...that's certainly a plot twist I didn't see coming..." He goes quiet a moment longer before shrugging. "So meet the kid, give it a piece of candy, and go after Brittany."

The front door clangs open and the sound of the two girls still bickering carries down the hallway and into the kitchen. Santana and Kurt roll their eyes with each other and get to their feet.

"I don't understand why you brought Rachel," she mutters to him as they leave the kitchen.

"Because you missed her."

"Ha, no. I didn't."

* * *

Santana manages to entertain the three around the house for a little while, and it's not long before Sugar falls asleep on the couch and Rachel steals the guest bed. Apparently they had been up all night while Kurt took heed to nap on the plane ride over. This led to Kurt and Santana sitting on the front porch where they could continue their earlier conversation.

"I know the entire child thing terrifies you, it would terrify me too, but don't use that as an excuse. And don't use Becca as an excuse either." Kurt glances over to where Santana sits, noticing the tenseness that shoots up her back at the comment. He looks over the rim of his sunglasses at her. "And no, I'm not going to baby you and let you avoid the topic."

"I hate you," she says in a sigh, glancing to her other side, away from him. "I'm not making excuses."

"Yet."

"Listen Lady Lips-"

"Just because Becca cheated on you and dragged your heart through the mud before throwing it into a blender does not mean every woman will." He lets out a breath and holds his hand over his heart. "Dear lord, I have been wanting to say that for years."

Santana closes her eyes at the words, and though she wants to bite back at him...she can't. Now she's picturing that face; her smile, her bright eyes. She's picturing everything _good _that made her fall in love with the woman, because she can't just think of Becca as a villain like her friends do. She can't. And if Kurt thinks she's going to sit here and join in a Becca-bashing moment, he's got another thing coming. How dare he even-

"All I am saying is that I haven't seen you like this over someone in a very long time, and I happen to like it. Midnight phone calls aside. Don't ruin it by being you."

She whips her head to him and her hand lashes out to slap his arm. "Hey, fuck you."

He smirks and tries to dodge the smack, but doesn't. Even so it isn't that hard and he takes it like a pro. "Go. Go see her and get your obsessive little fill for the day before the girls wake up and demand to tag along."

Santana raises a brow. "What? You don't wanna tag along?"

"Oh of course I do, but I'm also in favor of Brittany not meeting those two and running for the hills. You remember Paul, don't you?"

"Barely," Santana snorts. "Didn't he come to our New Year's party one year and leave half an hour later?"

"Mhmm." Kurt sits back, crossing his arms. "Rachel was drunk and threw herself at him."

"Berry's gaydar is terrible when she's drunk."

"No, I think when she's drunk she hopes even more to be a hag."

Santana shakes her head, but she's smiling affectionately. She really has missed home. She bites her lip a bit hesitantly. "You sure you're okay with me disappearing for a bit?"

"Yes. But don't be gone too long. If they wake up I can't be held responsible for what they try to do."

She grins and gets to her feet. "Knew there was a reason I keep you around." She starts for the front steps, but Kurt jumps to his feet.

"Oh, no no no. You are _not_ going to see the girl of your dreams dressed like that." He grabs Santana by the arm and pulls her through the front door.

"She's not the girl of my-"

"Save it," he says in a bored tone. But Santana looks down and realizes what she's wearing and is really fucking thankful he stopped her, because no way in hell would she go like this if she were thinking straight.

In less than twenty minutes Kurt has her in her tightest jeans and a light v-neck top with sleeves that barely cover her shoulders and is awesome for her cleavage (it's also made of a light, breathable sweater material, black, but that isn't as relevant as the cleavage). He throws her black, heeled boots and tells her to put them on. Her eyes roll.

"I've been dressing myself for a long time, princess. I can handle this."

"Take advantage of having your gay husband here while you can," he says airily. "Put the boots on."

She sits down and pulls the boots on, then zips them up and stands. She's a couple of inches taller and silently notes that she might actually be eye-level with Brittany now. She pushes by Kurt to go into the bathroom and quickly apply the barest amount of makeup necessary, then turns back to him where he has come to hover in the doorway. "Can I go now?"

"Hair," he says. He steps forward and pulls her hair off the top of her head. It falls against her shoulders and he runs his fingers through it to tame it a bit, then sculpts it to hang perfectly against her body. "Okay, you are now dismissed. Be back in an hour or I'm sending the Terrible Twins after you."

She can't help herself. She moves over and kisses his cheek lightly. A smile graces her lips as she pushes him out of her way so she can move past. "Best gay husband ever."

"I hope this means I get diamonds for our next anniversary."

* * *

She drives to the diner, because it's faster. When she parks she glances through the diner windows and spots Brittany immediately. Her heartbeat picks up speed and a smile hits her lips. Pathetic. She's pathetic and she knows it, but she can't help it. She gets out and heads into the diner, and for once the bell that dings her arrival doesn't annoy her. Oh no, not one bit. Not when Brittany turns to look and breaks into the beam that's currently breaking across her face. How could she possibly hate anything that makes Brittany look at her like that?

She moves off to the side by the register and watches as Brittany returns to the family she's taking an order from, then drops the order off for Puck at the kitchen's window. And then Brittany is walking over to her (skipping? Is this girl actually skipping over to her?).

"Hi," Brittany says. Her tone is bright and...sunny. Yes, her voice sounds like sunshine to Santana and it warms her inside and out. Especially inside. Dear god this woman...

"Hey," Santana replies softly. She knows she looks a little bashful, and she hates it. She hates what Brittany does to her. No, she loves it. She loves it and she hates it. And then Brittany is reaching down to gently and discreetly twist their fingers together and Santana is gone. Over the freakin' moon.

"Started to think I wasn't going to see you," Brittany says quietly. Santana likes this. She likes their quiet, private conversation. As though Brittany doesn't want anyone else to hear words meant only for her.

"I, uh...had some unexpected visitors this morning," she explains. "Kurt and a couple girls from home...they showed up for the weekend."

"You should have brought them!" Brittany pouts slightly and tugs Santana's hand. "I'd totally want to meet Kurt." Her pout fades into a look of slight confusion. "Wait...girls?" Her brow goes up, and it might be the sexiest thing Santana has ever seen. Which...she thinks about every look Brittany gives her, so that's moot.

Santana smiles at what she can only hope to be jealousy and she turns her hand up in Brittany's to return the tug. "_Friends_. One I've known since we played in her gold-plated sandbox, and the other is a friend of Kurt's and the most obnoxious person on the planet." Despite her words, there is affection in her voice for the two. Not that she hears it. Now Brittany's smile returns.

"I wanna meet them."

"No. You don't. Trust me."

Brittany chews her bottom lip with a cute little grin and starts stepping backwards with another pull on Santana's hand. She lets the hand drop and turns to walk towards the door to the backroom. Santana follows, figuring she's meant to. When they get behind the doors Brittany takes her hand again and pulls her around the corner into a storage room filled with paper products and condiments.

"This a tour?" Santana smirks, her eyes only on Brittany.

"Nope." Brittany pulls her into her arms (and yeah they're totally at eye-level and Santana likes it a lot).

Santana willingly goes, wrapping her arms around Brittany's neck. "Just so you know, I don't have sex before the first date. I expect wooing."

The cutest giggle bounces off Brittany's lips and she moves backwards to lean against the shelves. "Why don't I believe that? Also, you're supposed to woo me, remember?"

She can feel her cheeks heat up, and she's so glad Brittany can't notice a color change on her face. She doesn't need this girl to know what she does to her just yet. She still wants the upper hand. "Are you implying something, Ms. Pierce?" She lets her body rest against Brittany's, their noses almost touching from the close proximity.

"Only that I could have you in a second if I wanted," Brittany replies huskily. The way she, again, goes from cute to sexy in no time flat sends both heat and shivers all throughout Santana. So fucking hot. And more tempting than anything else. She feels Brittany's hands slip down her back and rest on her ass, pulling her hips in closer, and she groans softly.

"I thought I was supposed to woo you," she murmurs, barely able to speak as her eyes flutter shut.

"You are," Brittany whispers. She presses a light kiss to the tip of Santana's nose. "I'm just stating a fact."

"How 'bout you stop stating facts and kiss me?"

"Kay," Brittany replies. She brushes her lips to Santana's cheek and kisses the spot with a giggle. Santana opens her eyes to frown at the blonde. "What?" Brittany asks innocently.

"I said kiss me."

"Mmm," Brittany nods and leans in to brush her nose against Santana's neck, and the brunette can hear her breathe in deeply, as though she's inhaling her. "But," she whispers in a low voice, her breath hitting Santana's neck. "_You_ haven't kissed _me_ since the one on the sidewalk."

"And?" Her eyes close again from the feel of it all, and she swears she could just be in this close embrace forever and be happy.

"And you're even hotter when you take control like that."

"I'll keep that in mind." It's barely a whisper as Santana catches Brittany's chin with her finger and slowly turns her lips towards the other woman's. Her mouth ghosts over Brittany's, and before she can press her lips closer a voice makes them both jump out of their skin.

"Yo, Britt. You've got orders up."

Both look towards the doorway and see Puck standing there, a little smirk on his lips. He opens his mouth as though to make another remark, but Brittany reaches over her shoulder and grabs the first thing she can, which ends up being a plastic bottle of catsup, and throws it at him. He ducks and runs off before it hits the wall outside the storage room.

Brittany sighs and looks into Santana's eyes with a little apologetic frown. "I gotta go."

"Okay," Santana nods and steps away from her reluctantly. Her body is buzzing in the best and worst of ways. She thinks she kinda hates that Puck guy. A lot.

"Stick around awhile longer?"

"Yeah, maybe a coffee. Then I gotta get home."

"Awesome." Brittany beams again and starts out of the storage room. Santana follows in disappointment. So close. She had been so close to tasting those lips again, and god why had she wasted all that time with flirty banter when she could have-

Nope. She grabs Brittany's elbow and pushes her against the wall outside of the storage room, slams her body against the blonde's, then kisses her. Hard. She gets her tongue in Brittany's mouth quickly, because why waste the little time they have? She feels a deep groan vibrate low in Brittany's throat, and those hands grip onto her hips tightly. As much as she wants it to go on forever, Santana leaves the kiss intense but short. She pulls away far too soon, already breathless (fuck, any kiss from Brittany can leave her breathless), and stares into Brittany's eyes. Both have dark, desired gazes on each other for a moment. Somehow Santana is able to pull herself back.

"Not fair," Brittany whimpers. Santana can only smirk at the reaction, thrilled that she can do to Brittany what Brittany does to her.

"Get me a coffee, woman," she orders in a cocky but wanton tone. She swats Brittany on the ass when the girl steps off from the wall, then turns and walks back out into the diner, hips swinging.

If Brittany wants wooing, she's gonna do it in the ways she knows best. And she's going to enjoy every fucking second of it.

(That is, if she can get through it without pouncing the other woman and tearing her clothes off.)


	11. Chapter 11

Brittany places a cup of coffee in front of Santana, and Santana isn't oblivious to the way Brittany leans in a lot closer than she needs to in doing so. Her arm brushes Santana's and the brunette smirks. Clearly, someone is playing back.

"Thanks," she says. She reaches for the cup and lets her fingers skim over Brittany's as she takes the coffee. She shivers at their connected touch and she can see that Brittany does as well.

"So..." Brittany stands up and rocks on her heels a bit. "Jo-Jo is having boy time with S-with his dad tonight, and pretty much once a month me and Quinn and our friend Tina go out dancing, and...well, I thought maybe you and your friends might want to come?" She looks incredibly nervous asking the question, and Santana finds it adorable. She's not so sure about the offer though.

"I don't know...I thought I'd just...you know, show them around town and-"

"Santana, there's nothing to do in Lima on a Saturday night."

She smirks. Okay, the girl is right about that. "Where do you go dancing then?"

"There's a couple places down in Dayton, it's like...an hour away. We usually crash at a hotel there and drive back in the morning. You know, so we can drink."

Santana considers it a bit and realizes that by going dancing with Brittany and her friends she can actually see Brittany dance. Sure she's seen the waitress spin and do little dance moves around the diner (really, how fucking cute can she be?), but... Her eyes darken more than they naturally look and she nods. She really wants to see Brittany dance. She wants to dance with Brittany.

"Okay. But..." She wraps both hands around her mug tightly. "Please don't judge me for my friends."

Brittany giggles again and bounces in her spot a bit, clearly happy. Santana's pretty sure she wants to make Brittany happy like that as many times as she can. "Yay!" the blonde says. "And I totally won't, because I already think you're really awesome." She reaches down to squeeze Santana's wrist, and the brunette's heart squeezes with it.

Okay, is she actually going to survive watching Brittany dance? Much less dancing _with_ her?

* * *

When Santana gets home she finds Sugar and Rachel sitting on the couch with crossed arms and matching glares. She looks over to Kurt who is standing over them and smirks. "Okay, what'd I miss?"

"I can't believe you went without us!" Sugar whines.

"We tried to leave to find the diner, but _Kurt_ said if we tried to leave the house he would make our lives miserable for the next year," Rachel adds.

"Not that we're scared of him," Sugar butts in. "Because we're not."

"However, we have to play it safe," Rachel nods firmly.

Santana just snorts. "Right. Well relax. We're all going dancing with Brittany and her friends tonight."

The look on the faces of both girls changes from annoyance to sheer excitement. Neither can sit still as they bounce in their seats, and Santana notes that it's not nearly as cute as when Brittany does it. Her head shakes.

"Really?! We get to meet her? Yay!" Sugar claps her hands.

"Only if you behave the rest of the day," Santana replies. She glances over at Kurt who can barely contain his smile of amusement.

He meets her eyes and shakes his head, then his eyes silently ask her, _are you sure? _She shrugs and thinks of Brittany for a moment, and that softer smile hits her lips as she glances away from him. When she looks back he's just smiling at her like she's the most adorable thing he's ever lain eyes on. So she gives him a glare,_ fuck off_. He doesn't stop smirking at her as his eyes glitter back at her, _you are so whipped._

She clears her throat and looks back to the girls. "But if either of you embarrasses me tonight, you'll have more to worry about than Kurt making a year miserable. Snix will go after the rest of your pitiful excuses for lives."

"We'll be good," the two chorus, sitting up straighter with their hands on their knees. Santana just snorts again. Sometimes it really does feel like Kurt is her husband and these are their two unruly, obnoxious children. (Clearly though neither got their mother's looks.)

The four spend the rest of the day figuring out what they're going to wear for their night out. Sugar raids her wardrobe for herself, while Santana turns it upside down for the perfect outfit. Rachel, who has already settled on her boring choice, sits on the bed and offers her own commentary. She also gets buried in Santana's clothing as it gets thrown out of the closet, or discarded from Sugar and Santana's bodies. It's actually kind of cute. The girl is so small that she looks like she's downing.

Meanwhile Kurt borrows the iron and irons his clothes. All three had brought clothes specifically for the possibility of a night out, and he still hasn't decided between the five choices he brought. Eventually though he does join the girls to try and help Santana decide on something. Sugar made a combination out of her own clothes and something of the brunette's, but Santana? Nothing. Nothing looks right.

She's standing in the middle of the now ransacked room (Okay, so it's her abeula's room and closet, but she brought half of her wardrobe with her and stuffed it into the closet, because let's face it the closet wasn't too populated as it was.) in her bra and panties with her hands on her hips. Nothing. She has _nothing_ to wear. She says as much.

"I think you're possibly being a little too picky," Rachel says from somewhere underneath the mountain of clothes on the bed. The words are a bit muffled.

"I agree," Kurt says, glancing over in Rachel's general direction. He's currently leaning back against the dresser and Sugar is sitting on the floor. Santana shoots Kurt a glare. "Everything looks fantastic on you, Santana. You're worrying too much."

"I don't want to look fantastic," she grumbles. "I want to look hot as hell."

"Brittany probably already thinks you're hot as hell," Sugar offers. "You should wear that really short dress that shows off your boobs."

Kurt lets out a small laugh. "That accounts for more than half of her wardrobe."

"The one with the stripes!"

"Again..."

"Stop!" Santana steps in between the line of sight of Kurt and Sugar and holds her hands out. "We'll go to the mall."

"Do we have time?" Again Rachel's voice comes from somewhere on the bed. (Okay, so she's not completely covered, but she may as well be.)

As if on cue, Santana's phone rings. She lets out a frustrated sigh and goes to the bedside table to grab it. She looks at the screen and smiles. _Favorite Hot Waitress _pops up on the screen. She hadn't even realized what Brittany put in her phone when they had finally exchanged numbers earlier that morning. She's pretty oblivious to how wide and pure the smile on her lips is, but the others are staring at her like she's some precious child. She doesn't see them, because she doesn't see anything but Brittany calling her. She swipes the screen and holds the phone to her ear.

"So which favorite hot waitress is this?" She asks teasingly.

"Umm the one that had you pinned to a door moaning the other day?" It's said so innocently and so sweetly, but it still sends hot waves of desire through her. She tries to control her reaction and keep her face straight.

"Have to be a little more specific," she says with a tone of indifference. She takes the call down the hallway and into the bathroom and shuts the door.

"The one that keeps having dreams about fucking you on your table at the diner," Brittany says thickly. Santana gulps and stumbles over to sit on the closed toilet. "Which really isn't fair for you to invade my dreams like that, because then I'm just frustrated and I don't want my first orgasm over you to be without you touching me for real, so I can't get myself off."

For the love of...

She bites back a groan and somehow or another finds words. "Brittany," she gasps out.

"Finally you guessed!"

"Don't...don't just say stuff to me like that."

"But it's true." God, Santana can even _hear_ the pout on Brittany's lips. "I mean, it's been like almost a month, even if we haven't been kissing until now."

Santana can't even try to keep up with the earlier game, she just shakes her head and tries to push away all of the delicious mental images Brittany has given her. It's hard. It's really hard, because she hasn't gotten laid in a really long time, and well...she's been fantasizing about Brittany pretty much since the day they met. And it _really_ doesn't help that she's sitting here in nothing but her bra and underwear. "Okay," she finally replies softly. "But we can't- ...you can't say those things to me and expect me to not attack you the next time I see you."

"That'd be really awkward since Quinn and Tina will be with me, and your friends will be there. I mean, I always thought it might be fun to make a sex tape, but it's not really the same as a public performan-"

"Brittany, I'm not saying this to be a bitch, but shut up." At this rate she's going to be in the shower taking care of things, and she doesn't want to. She actually likes the idea of waiting for Brittany to do that for her.

There's silence for awhile then Brittany finally starts to laugh. "You're so easy to wind up."

"You're mean."

"Maybe, but you like me. A lot," Brittany reminds her.

"Did you call me just to get me hot and bothered?"

"Huh? Oh! No! Okay, so since there are four of you and three of us, we should take two cars. Do you want to just follow us?"

The quick change in subject is both a relief and hard to catch up to. Santana tries to regulate her deep breathing. "Uhh...yeah, sure. We can do that. When are we heading out?"

"Maybe after dinner? We can go up and check into the hotel and get ready there, then go out."

"Okay, sure."

"Yay! I'm...I'm really excited," Brittany says, her voice going a bit softer. "I mean, yes to meet your friends, but...mostly to spend more time with you." She sounds almost shy and Santana has to smile at that.

"Yeah, me too. So will this be our first date?"

"Nope. You don't get away with it that easily. Wooing."

Santana laughs. "Okay, okay. There'll still be wooing. Tonight, just dancing."

"And maybe a little making out?"

"Definitely some making out, too."

"Meet at the diner around six?"

"We'll be there," Santana confirms.

"Kay...bye, Santana."

"Bye, Brittany." She really loves hearing Brittany say her name, and she doesn't hang up yet as she relishes the way it still bounces around in her mind. She can also hear breathing so she realizes Brittany hasn't hung up either.

"Bye," Brittany murmurs again.

"Bye."

Another few moments of silence.

"Is it crazy that I like you this much already even though we haven't even had our first date?" Brittany asks.

Santana's head shakes even though the blonde can't see it. She clears her throat. "Maybe, but...I don't mind a little crazy."

Silence responds and Santana's heart pounds in her chest. "You're awesome," Brittany finally says, and Santana can hear the smile in her voice. Then the connection ends. She pulls the phone from her ear and looks at the screen where the call time is blinking, along with _Favorite Hot Waitress_. She smiles. Ohhhh yeah this is crazy, but it feels too good to care right now.

* * *

"If any of you even _think_ about embarrassing me-"

"How stupid do we look?" Kurt glances over at Santana from the passenger side seat at her words. She just levels a gaze in the rear-view mirror at the two girls in the back seat.

"That's not fair," Rachel protests. "Why would we-"

"Because it's what you do," Santana replies evenly. She meets each set of eyes with a 'try me' look before finally opening her door and stepping out of the car.

She had found Brittany's car by the diner with Brittany and two other women standing on the sidewalk talking. She parked behind it, but had to sit for a moment with her friends to make sure they were going to be on their best behavior. Again. Once she's out of the car they follow, and in no time all seven people are standing together on the sidewalk. Brittany and Santana are smiling a bit shyly at each other while their friends fidget and wait for introductions.

When upon realization that Brittany and Santana are too wrapped up with just...looking at each other, Kurt makes the first move. He holds out his hand and steps over to the blonde with shorter hair. "Hi, I'm Kurt. I'm going to assume neither one of you is Brittany."

The short-haired blonde gives him a polite smile and shakes his hand. "No, she's the one over there drooling. I'm Quinn, and this is Tina." She motions to a shorter girl standing nearby with long dark hair and a warm smile. There is, without a doubt, Asian descent in her features. Tina just smiles and gives him a bit of a wave.

"Pleasure," Kurt smiles. "This is Rachel and Sugar. And our mute companion over there, if you haven't already met her, is Santana."

"Met, no. Seen, yes," Quinn nods.

Santana acknowledges none of this happening and only takes the steps required to stand closer to Brittany. "Hey," she says.

"Hi," Brittany smiles and bats those perfect lashes, and Santana really can't come up with anything else to add on to that. After getting no response, Brittany laughs and reaches for Santana's hand to give it a squeeze. "I'm really glad you decided to come with us."

"Me too," Santana nods and squeezes her hand in return. She wants badly to kiss the girl, but she's not going to here in the middle of town with their friends looking on. Brittany must be thinking the same thing, because she lifts Santana's hand to her lips and kisses her knuckles softly before turning to the group. Neither lets go of the other's hand.

"Guys, this is Santana," she says to her friends.

"We kinda figured," Tina smirks.

"And, uh..Brittany," Santana gives the blonde beside her a slight nod. She glances at Rachel and Sugar and sees them both grinning like idiots. She glares. "Should we go?"

"Since Santana is too rude to introduce us," Rachel says, stepping forward and extending her hand to Brittany. "I'm Rachel, one of Santana's nearest and dearest friends."

Before Santana can open her mouth to correct that, Brittany shakes Rachel's hand and grins. "Hi Rachel."

So Santana just sighs and motions to the other two. "Sugar, Kurt."

Brittany shakes Sugar's hand, but lingers longer when she shakes Kurt's. "I've heard a lot about you," she tells him.

"All good I hope?"

"All awesome," Brittany laughs.

"Hey, hey, don't get his ego bigger than it already is." Santana pushes them apart. "Are we hitting the road or what?"

"Mkay," Brittany nods and lets go of Santana's hand. "Here's the directions to the hotel in case we get split up. Quinn wrote them so you'd understand them. She said mine had too many pictures."

Santana smiles softly and glances at her blonde. "I like pictures."

"I'll draw you some later," Brittany grins, rocking on her heels in delight.

"Oh _please_, can we go?" Quinn asks with an eye roll.

"Okay!" Santana pulls her eyes from Brittany's and heads around to the driver's side door. "Lead the way," she tells Brittany.

Everyone piles into the two cars, and Santana follows Brittany into the traffic towards the highway.

"You are so falling for her," Kurt says in amused delight, his eyes out his window. Santana glances over at the back of his head and glares.

"Shut up."

* * *

"For the love of all that is good and holy will you just sit still?" Kurt's voice is so pinched and his eyes so narrow that all Santana can do is follow this words.

She tries to take a breath and relax where she sits in the hotel room chair, but she can feel her knee wanting to start bouncing again. She doesn't even know why she's so nervous, it's not like she hasn't spent nearly every day with Brittany over the past month. But this is different. This is the first real time they're spending time together outside of the diner. And yeah, Santana knows she's totally gonna be hot once Kurt's done with her hair, but she still worries what Brittany will think of the sight.

"Look, just let me do it," she protests, reaching up towards his hands.

"Your hands were shaking so much that you nearly pulled your hair out," he argues, keeping the tools from her grasp. "If I let you do it you'll be bald." He gets back to work to pull her hair up on the back of her head with perfect curled sprigs hanging around her face. "I'm surprised you didn't poke your eye out doing your makeup," he mutters almost to himself.

Sugar moves over and sits on the floor in front of them, her legs curling up at her side. She gazes up at Santana. "You're totally going to make her forget her name and everything. Don't be so nervous." She reaches her hand up and sets it on Santana's knee. Santana looks down at her crazy, but sweet friend and has one of those moments where she remembers why she loves the girl. Her hand settles on top of Sugar's and she tries to channel some of the nervous energy out of her body. Sugar just smiles at her. She doesn't have to thank her, she knows Sugar knows. Her eyes close and she takes another deep breath and lets it out slowly.

"I do have to say," Rachel breaks in from where she's applying her own make up in the bathroom, "Brittany is very pretty. I can see what captured you so."

Santana hears a snort from Kurt and her own lips curl into a knowing smirk. "You think so?" She shoots across the room.

"Oh, I do. In a very natural kind of way. As oppose to her friend Quinn who has quite the classic beauty. She belongs in old movies if you ask me."

"Rachel, you're sounding a little gay again," Sugar shouts out. If Kurt and Santana let the moment pass without saying so, Sugar never will.

"I'm choosing to ignore that," Rachel calls back.

"Okay, and..." Kurt moves around to the front of Santana and pulls at her hanging curls slightly. "Done!"

Santana can hear Sugar's excited squeal and she opens her eyes. She gets up and stands in front of the mirror over the room's dresser and looks over Kurt's work. She has to admit that he done good. Not that she couldn't do better. She shrugs and looks over at him. "Not bad, Princess."

"Not bad?" Kurt scoffs. "_That_ is some of my best work yet." His eyes roll into the back of his head and he holds a hand up in the air. "I swear, talent goes unrecognized around you people. You think it didn't take a lot of work learning how to style your hair?" He heads to the bathroom to give himself another once-over while still muttering to himself. Only when he leaves eye shot does Santana smile.

"Get over it," she calls out to him, but her words are warm.

There's a knock on the door and Santana feels her stomach drop. She gulps and looks over at Sugar, who quickly jumps to her feet and goes to open the door. "Hi, wow you two look totally awesome, where's Brittany?" She hears Sugar greet them in one rushed breath.

She frowns and walks over to the door. "Yeah, where is Brittany?"

Tina laughs and shakes her head. "She said she's not really ready yet and the rest of us should wait in the lobby for her, except for you. I think she just wants to pick you up by herself so you two can...you know, have a moment."

Not for the first time that week, Santana feels her face going hot, but she keeps her features blank. She knows only Kurt and Sugar would be able to read her face. (If she actually wanted to admit it.) "That's cool," she nods. "I'm not ready yet either."

"Yes you are, you're perfect," Kurt says in a bored tone as he passes her by. He moves out into the hallway to look Quinn and Tina over. "Ladies, you look gorgeous. If I were straight, I'd be the luckiest man in the world. Like having my own harem. Thank God, I'm not. No offense."

Quinn smirks and shakes her head. "Thank you, Kurt." She glances at Kurt and then Sugar. "Is Rachel ready?"

"Yes!" Rachel answers, coming from the bathroom and to the door. The doorway is getting way too cramped so Sugar steps into the hallway and Santana steps backwards. She smiles at their new companions. "You do both look fantastic. I think we all do."

"Shall we go wait in the lobby?" Kurt adjusts the hat on his head.

Sugar loops her arm through Kurt's and starts to pull him down the hall. "Yeah, we have to let Brittany and Santana eye-sex each other in private." Quinn and Tina had wasted no time in trailing behind them, and both smirk at that.

"Sugar!" Santana snaps.

"Oh please, you know it's true." Rachel pats Santana's shoulder and goes to catch up with the others.

Santana watches them all disappear into the elevator and shakes her head to herself. She turns to step back into the room, but before she closes the door she hears the elevator ding. It's only a few doors down from their room so she peeks her head back out and looks. It's just in time to see Brittany step out of the second elevator and look up and down the hallway, before turning in Santana's direction. Then she stops.

Santana steps fully from the room and also makes no movement closer to Brittany, because all she can do is stare. She knows Brittany is staring at her in her short, tight red and black dress. It barely covers her thighs and the top ties around her neck. Were Brittany able to see the back, she would see that it shows off a good amount of Santana's back and hugs her ass perfectly. Paired with tall, black heels she knows she looks amazing, but she really can't even think about that as she takes Brittany in.

The blonde is wearing a pale yellow dress made of what looks like a very breathable, light material. Inch wide straps go over her shoulders and the front v-necks down into her cleavage with a bit of white lace. Normally white lace might seem lame and fitting only for a six-year old, but Brittany pulls it off. The dress is tight around her top and waist, but then it flairs out slightly and hangs right at her knees. It's so simple, but so fucking beautiful. Brittany's hair is pulled together in a loose ponytail that drapes over one shoulder and a white ribbon ties it together. On her feet are white flats, and her legs...her perfect, long legs are bare and beautiful as they go up and hide underneath the dress. Santana knows her eyes are slowly roaming down and then back up Brittany's body, but she can't stop herself. Brittany is absolutely stunning, and she somehow pulls it off so easily. Like she just picked a dress and threw it on, where as Santana spent the entire day figuring out the perfect outfit and meticulously pulling together every inch of herself.

When her eyes finally meet Brittany's she can see that Brittany's gaze was roaming over her as well, and there's that certain heat in those blue eyes that sends a shiver down her bare back. Fuck. Just...fuck. That's the only coherent word that makes its way through Santana's mind.

Brittany is the first to take a step forward, and she moves slowly until she reaches Santana. They stand a foot or so apart and have yet to break their held gaze. "You look...really pretty," Brittany says softly, almost breathlessly. Did Santana really manage to take Brittany's breath away? Like she seems to have taken Santana's words away? Yeah, she could talk a big game about being hot, but that small voice in the back of her head still hadn't been sure if Brittany would like it. It gives her butterflies to realize that she does. Brittany steps one step closer, and Santana feels her breath catch in her throat as the heat between them intensifies. She feels the warmth of Brittany's body even with the space between them. "No..." Brittany pauses and lets her gaze slowly run down Santana's body again before returning to her eyes. Again, shivers. Fire. Lack of air in the lungs. It all hits Santana just in the way Brittany has her eyes on her. Like the, _holy fucking hell have every part of me right now I'm yours, just fucking take me_. That. Then Brittany's voice hits her again. "No, hot. Really, really hot." Her voice is thicker now, and Santana could easily just pull her back into the hotel room and _not_ go meet their friends.

It takes her a moment to find her own voice, but she does. "You're...beautiful," she finally manages to say. It sounds cheesy and lame in her head, but that's what Brittany is. Beautiful. Does she really get to dance with this perfection? Touch her? ...kiss her? God does she want to kiss her. The thought barely makes it through her brain before she's closing the space between them and gently taking Brittany's cheek in her hand. Their eyes connect for just a moment before Brittany's close, and Santana leans in and brushes her lips to the pair waiting for hers. Once again, they're the same height (maybe Santana even has a half inch on Brittany), and Santana likes it.

The kiss is so soft, so timid, that it's almost not there. Santana's lips take Brittany's slowly and hold them for a moment before letting go. She doesn't pull far away, but breathes in. In that breath in she tastes Brittany's air, and...just..._Brittany_. She breathes the other woman in and exhales her, and she hears Brittany take that breath of air into her own lungs. She hasn't opened her eyes yet. She doesn't want to get out of their moment. Maybe not ever. Her tongue brushes over her own lips, they still tingle from the kiss, to find that taste of Brittany, but their lips are still so close that her tongue also hits Brittany's lips. She hears a soft intake of a gasp. Still, she doesn't connect their lips again. Just pulls her tongue back into her mouth and continues staying close. Her hand is still on Brittany's cheek and she lets her thumb stroke her cheek slowly, and finally – finally – she opens her eyes. She finds that Brittany is already watching her, and she wonders how long the blue eyes have been on her. Being under that gaze makes her insides waver just like always. She wants to kiss Brittany again, but before she can make a move, Brittany's words hit her own lips in a whisper.

"You're the prettiest girl I've ever met."

A shy smile, the kind Santana hates showing, fights to appear on her lips, and her eyes fall to her feet as her hand falls from Brittany's face. She knows Brittany means it, and even more she knows that she wants to hear it again and again, because no one else telling her she's attractive means to her what that does. Hearing it from Brittany is almost like she has never heard it before. She feels Brittany's finger on her chin lifting her face up, and she lets her. She meets those blue eyes again, melts again, and waits.

"You're the prettiest girl I've ever met," Brittany repeats in another whisper. "Okay?"

"Okay," Santana murmurs. Because if Brittany says it, it has to be true. And then Brittany is leaning in to reconnect their lips, and Santana's eyes slip shut again, and she kisses her back. Again soft and short, but it does so much to her insides that it could have been the most heated kiss they ever shared. She's feeling too much from this waitresses kiss – from her words, from her touch – all too soon, and it scares the hell out of her, but she doesn't want it to stop. Kurt's right, she's falling. And she doesn't want to stop.


	12. Chapter 12

**A**/**N**: First off I would like to say I'm sorry it's been so long. Life has been busy, and I've had serious writer's block. What I could write, I put into one of my other fics to try and get it wrapped up (and it's still missing the final piece). So I apologize. Secondly, I know this update is short but again; writer's block. It was either post what I have or make you wait longer. More will come I promise. And after this little weekend adventure the story will pick up its pace. Please bear with me and stick around! As always, follow me on tumblr for more (frayedattheends).

* * *

They stand side-by-side in the elevator as it takes them down to the lobby, and Santana's fingers hang at her side while Brittany toys with them lightly. Santana smiles down and shakes her head.

"What?" Brittany's whisper is both curious and amused.

"Nothing," Santana replies, biting her smile back. The elevator comes to a stop and the doors slowly open. Neither woman moves.

"We should..." Brittany starts.

"Yeah, probably."

The blonde turns to Santana. "I don't want to go dancing and be in some loud club."

"Me either," she replies as she glances back. Because as fun as that could be, she really just wants to spend time with Brittany. All the time she can get.

"We could take a walk?"

Santana nods, and Brittany takes her hand and leads her out of the elevator. Their friends are waiting by the door and they go to join them.

"About time," Quinn says. "Can we go now?"

Brittany moves to her friend's side and smiles sweetly at her. "You guys go ahead, okay? We're...we're just gonna take a walk or something."

"Or _something_," Sugar snorts.

Santana levels a glare her way. "Just go, okay? We'll meet up with you guys later."

"You sure?" Quinn asks, looking only to Brittany. Santana watches the interaction between the two. She finds herself curiouser and curiouser every time she watches Brittany talk with her friends; especially Quinn. There's still so much that she doesn't know about her waitress.

Brittany nods and kisses the side of Quinn's head. "Go have fun. I'll text you later, I promise."

"Really?" Kurt deadpans. "All my work and you're _not_ coming with us?"

Santana snaps out of her stare and looks over to Kurt with an eye roll. "Oh get over it, Lady Lips."

"Come on, guys. Let's just go have some fun," Tina breaks in. "Let them do their thing."

"Yeah," Quinn nods slowly and starts for the door. "Let's go. Have fun, Britt." The last part is said with a smirk thrown over her shoulder that Santana definitely doesn't miss.

It's a good five minutes before the two are finally left on their own, and Brittany just looks over at Santana with a bright smile. She holds her hand out to the brunette. "Shall we?"

"Lead the way." Santana can't help but grin back as she takes Brittany's hand. At this point she might follow the girl anywhere she leads.

With fingers woven together the two women walk quietly with shy smiles to the ground. They've gone three blocks without a word. Santana wants to say something, but she's not sure what. She's again at a loss around this beautiful person. After another half of a block she feels a tug at her hand and she glances over. Brittany's smiling sweetly at her. Santana can't help but return the smile, because damn if it isn't addicting. _She's_ addicting.

Brittany brings them to a stop a couple doors down from a small coffee house. People sit at the small tables outside of it while speakers overhead play soft jazz into the night. Santana raises a brow. "You want coffee?" She asks.

"No...I want my dance."

"Well...we can catch up with the others if you want," Santana replies, not quite catching on yet.

"I don't want to." Brittany shakes her head, that smile brightening.

"Oh. Then..." She blinks, confused.

Brittany drops her hand and pulls Santana by the hips a little closer to the darkened store front behind them. The shadow of the awning hides them slightly and Brittany pulls her in closer. "I want my dance," she whispers again.

Santana finally clues in and she shakes her head as she tries to pull from Brittany's grasp. "Oh no, uh uh. I'm not dancin' with you in the middle of the street."

"We're not in the street, silly." Brittany's head tilts, her smile unwavering, and she takes Santana's hands. "Come on. No one's paying attention."

"They will when we start dancing."

"So...don't care," the blonde shrugs. She tugs Santana again. "You can just not care."

Santana lets herself be pulled with a sigh, because how can she possibly resist being in Brittany's personal space? "I'm not...good at that," she admits slowly.

"At what? Dancing? I can help." Brittany's hands fall to her hips again, and their faces are just so close...Santana could kiss her. If it wouldn't draw unwanted attention.

"At...not caring what people think." She doesn't know why the truth keeps slipping out so easily, but it does in a soft breath against Brittany's neck.

"Hey." A finger slips under Santana's chin to lift it so their eyes can meet, and Brittany still smiles at her. "No one else is here. Just you and me."

And looking into those eyes...those perfect, lovely blue eyes...she can only nod. Brittany takes control of Santana's arms and lifts them up to her neck, and Santana lets them wrap there while gentle hands return to her waist. She's being pulled close to Brittany's body and her breath catches. She doesn't once let her eyes stray. How could she?

Brittany takes the lead, and they begin to sway and step in small circles. They aren't the kind of dance moves Santana was really hoping to see, but it feels...perfect. The arms that she's being held in are stronger than any others she has been in, and for some inexplicable reason she feels completely safe. It's a fucking cliché and she hates herself for it, but god she would stay here forever.

She leans closer against Brittany's body and her head rests to the side of the woman's in front of her. Hands roam slowly over the low of Santana's back and a soft hum sounds off her lips.

"This is what I wanted the most," Brittany whispers in confession.

"Hmm?"

"When I told you I wanted you to come with us and dance with me...this is all I wanted."

A little smile spreads on Santana's lips. "It's nice."

"_You're_ nice."

"You're a goofball," she chuckles and looks up into those eyes again.

"You're hot." Brittany's sweet gaze flickers hotly in a matter of seconds, and her hands trail up Santana's bare back that her dress doesn't cover. Santana gasps softly and tries to keep her eyes open.

"Britt..."

"Can I kiss you?"

Santana's eyes do close now, because it sounds like there's so much more behind that question, like Brittany is asking for something much more than a kiss. "God, please do," she manages to say. Right away she feels lips on hers and she doesn't care. She doesn't care if anyone is looking, if everyone is looking, because Brittany's hands are on her naked back and Brittany's lips are..and oh sweet velvety goodness, Brittany's tongue.

Their bodies are pressed together as close as they can get and they've stopped moving. Santana's hands wrap against the back of Brittany's neck and she tilts her head into the kiss to give Brittany more. This is all she wants. Brittany kissing her, Brittany touching her. And Brittany continues to kiss her until Santana moans. They part, a bare inches apart, and Brittany's sweet breath is hot on Santana's lips.

"I like the sounds you make," the blonde murmurs. Santana shivers, and she wants to be given reason to make the sounds more for Brittany. "I want to make you moan so loud...and scream..." The words are dropped against Santana's neck with soft kisses, and Santana could probably strip Brittany right here and take her.

"Fuck," Santana lets out in another gasp.

"Exactly." Teeth close down on the spot where the brunette's shoulder and neck meet, and she has to fight to breathe as Brittany's tongue then circles the same crook before her lips move up to her ear. "But...I'm not ready. I..." Brittany groans, pushing their hips together. "I want you, but I need to wait. I need us to wait."

As hot as her entire body feels, as fast as her insides thrum, another kind of warmth settles in her heart and she tilts her head to look up at her waitress. Brittany looks worried and scared; conflicted. Santana lifts a hand to her cheek and brushes it lightly as she gives the girl a smile. "So let's go back to the hotel and just make out."

Brittany lets out her breath and giggles. "I can totally do that."

"Does that mean we can stop making ourselves look like idiots in public?"

"Never," the blonde now grins. She takes Santana by the hand and pulls away, leaving a large gap of space between them so that she can spin the brunette around in quick circles.

"Brittany!" She grabs onto Brittany's other hand as well as she gets spun, and she can't stop the laugh that spills from her lips. "Britt, stop!"

"Nope!"

* * *

Brittany steps off the elevator at her floor and spins around to Santana with a grin. "I'll just get my pajamas and we'll hang out, okay?"

"Kay," Santana grins back, feeling a bit sheepish inside. What is this woman turning her into? She lets the elevator take her a floor up and she finds herself nearly skipping to her room. She lets herself in and looks around. It's a mess from them all getting ready. She starts straightening it up and shoving her friends' things into their bags, and she pauses for a second. A smirk comes on her lips and she continues putting everything into the bags and suitcases, and she yanks her door open. Just as she does, she's greeted with Brittany's beautiful face.

"What are you doing?" Brittany asks, amused.

Santana puts Kurt's stuff outside the door against the wall and goes back in for Rachel's. "Kicking them out."

"Why?" Brittany steps inside the room and watches.

"Cuz," she replies, continuing with Sugar's things. "I don't want those losers gettin' in the way of us-"

"Of us what?" A brow raises.

Santana looks panicked for all of a second. "Hanging out! Just...hanging out."

"Mmmhmm." The blonde is smirking as she pushes the door shut once Santana is done. She flips the inside lock into place, ensuring no one could get in. "I think you want to get me naked Ms. Lopez."

"Of course I wanna get you naked, but we're waiting...right?"

"Yeah, we are."

And finally Santana takes notice of what Brittany is wearing. She can't even laugh at the girl, but she kinda wants to. "Britt...do those PJs seriously have feet?"

"Yup! Aren't they awesome?"

She mouths silently for a moment, then just shakes her head with a laugh. "You are so fucking cute," she says. She grabs Brittany's hands and yanks her over to the closest of the two beds. She falls onto her back, bringing Brittany to land on top of her.

"Mmm, my awesome PJs have never gotten this kinda reaction before."

Santana quickly flips them so she can gaze down at Brittany, and their bodies are far enough apart with the way she's propped over her that she can examine the pajamas again. They are the most non-sexy things ever, but... "You're so hot in them."

"I'm hot in everything," Brittany says matter-of-factly, wrapping her arms around Santana's neck. "Are we going to talk or make out?"

"Mmmm..." She leans down to connect their lips in a slow, sweet kiss before leaning up again. "If you get to be comfortable, don't I?"

"By all means...take it off." The reply is husky on the blonde's lips and it makes Santana shiver yet again.

"Thought we weren't getting naked?"

"Naked and sex are two very different things."

"So..." Santana leans up on her knees so she can cross her arms and stare down at her. "You get to see me naked and I don't get to see you naked? Is that what you're sayin'? Doesn't sound very fair."

"Honey...if you saw me naked you wouldn't be able to resist me." Brittany's hand moves up to Santana's hip and her fingertips graze the bone there softly.

"You really think you can resist all this?" She waves her hand at her own body and raises a brow.

"No," the blonde replies honestly. "But I'm good at restraining myself."

"That so?"

"Mhmm."

And at the sight of Brittany biting down on her lip, her blue eyes dark on Santana's, she can't help herself. She reaches behind her neck and undoes the button that holds the straps together at her nape, then turns herself around. She looks over her shoulder with her best smoldering stare. "Unzip me?"

Brittany sits up, her hands quickly going for the zipper that starts low on Santana's back, and she brings it down slowly. As she does, Santana raises higher on her knees so the zipper can easily slide all the way down to the top of her ass. She feels cool air on her newly revealed skin, and what's more she feels Brittany's eyes all over her. Brittany's fingertips brush the spot where the zipper ends and where the lace of Santana's thong begins.

Fingertips trail up Santana's back and her head falls forward with a soft sigh as she relishes the feel. Heat burns through her, sparking her skin everywhere that those fingers touch. They stop between her shoulder blades, brushing long hair out of the way, and slowly trace at the tattoo there. She can feel Brittany move to her knees behind her and feels Brittany's breath close on the back of her neck.

Her eyes close as Brittany traces the Ti and the 22. She holds her breath as she waits for the inevitable question, and it comes only moments later.

"The Periodic sign for titanium?"

"Yeah," Santana whispers.

"Why?"

She takes a breath, unsure she wants to answer. When others have asked her in the past she's always shrugged and said she loves the song, but...it came before the song. "Because...it's tough. You can't..." Her words fall softer and she doesn't dare open her eyes, because there's a mirror on the opposing wall and she doesn't want to see Brittany's gaze. "You can't easily break it." Her heartbeat speeds up as she waits for a response that she isn't sure she wants to hear. She doesn't want to talk about it really. She doesn't want to explain further.

Suddenly her hair is being pulled together and set over her shoulder, and soft lips press to her tattoo. And how does that simple act feel so incredible? How? Brittany's lips brush the ink repeatedly and move up Santana's back and stop on her left shoulder. She holds her lips there for a long time before tilting her mouth to her ear. "So...I need to be really, really hot so I can melt you?"

The innuendo is too sweet and Santana finds herself chuckling softly. "Mm, don't think you'll have a problem with that, Britt." Arms wrap around her from behind and she feels Brittany press against her back. Lips settle against her temple and she sighs as she leans back into the embrace.

"Let it melt down a little? For me?" Brittany's words are a whisper. "I really want to get to know you without an indestructible metal between us."

She raises her arms and covers them around Brittany's as her breath catches. "I can't make promises."

"Me either, but...just so you know? I don't plan on breaking you."

The conversation is turning far too deep and close to home for Santana, and she has to pull herself away. She slips off the bed and turns to look at a now dejected Brittany. She smiles and lets her dress start to slip its way down her body.

"You really wanna be sad lookin' at this?" She smirks. She watches as Brittany's eyes slowly roam down her, taking it all in as the dress pools at her feet. She steps out of it and in an instant Brittany is at the edge of the bed and pulling Santana back into her arms. Only this time her eyes aren't sad, and they're darker than ever before. "Thought you had restraint?" Her tone teases Brittany, but her eyes close as Brittany's hands learn their way down her hips and back and ass. She moans softly which only pulls a replying moan from Brittany.

"I do," the blonde nods. "But you're so hot."

Santana, as much as she doesn't want to, reaches down and pulls Brittany's hands off of her. "No touching, Britt-Britt," she says thickly. Brittany whimpers and drops her arms, and Santana turns to go to her suitcase. She exaggerates leaning over to open it and take out her pajamas, giving Brittany plenty of time to stare at her thong-clad ass. She stands and throws a look over her shoulder as she pulls the shorts on. "Need something?" Brittany's head shakes back and forth slowly and her eyes don't move from Santana's body. "Let me know when you do..." She slips the t-shirt over her head, then reaches inside to take off her bra and throw it aside. She's pretty sure she hears a quiet cry in Brittany's throat. She just smirks. "So. Popcorn and a movie?"


	13. Chapter 13

**A**/**N**: Soooo...just a warning there is parental!Bram in this chapter. If you don't like it...don't read. Can't really help you there.

* * *

A movie plays forgotten on the hotel television, and the only other light that shines on the room bleeds out from the half-closed bathroom. Giggles bounce around the shadows as slow, lazy kisses and soft pecks are exchanged on one of the double beds.

Santana is stretched out on her side facing Brittany as Brittany mirrors her position. Hands sweetly explore every inch above each other's shoulders, while they keep a careful few inches of space between their hips. Ever since Brittany stole a kiss partway through the movie, they couldn't stop. It had gotten far too heated far too quickly, so they enforced rules. No touching below the shoulders, space, and no more clothes removed.

By then Brittany had lost her footed pajamas only to reveal she was wearing boxers and a tank top underneath, which she looks far more comfortable and cool in. And hot in. So very hot. Santana wants nothing more than to keep peeling the layers free, to kiss every inch of newly found skin, but she can't. Brittany isn't ready and she's not going to push anything.

Besides. She likes this. She likes this gentle, sweet game they're playing. Brittany's lips brush along her jaw lightly. Just her lips; featherlight. Still Santana's stomach burns low and hot. Her eyes keep trying to open to gaze at the gorgeous woman across from her, but at every touch and every kiss they just flutter shut again. Can perfection exist? Because this moment might be perfection for her.

Her fingers lace through Brittany's hair on the back of her neck, and she turns her head so Brittany's lips can explore further. She can't help but moan softly at the playful nibble on the top of her ear, but the moan turns into a giggle because Brittany is just...too cute. Her giggle only causes Brittany to giggle, and Santana swears it's the sweetest sound in the world. Suddenly Brittany is half on top of her and the blonde's fingers are slipping down Santana's sides.

"Brittany! Rules!" She shrieks it slightly as she realizes what's happening, and she jerks away as Brittany starts to tickle her.

"They're made to be broken," Brittany husks in a low laugh. "You're ticklish, it's cute."

"Stop!" Santana's flailing now as fingers tumble at her sides and up towards her armpits. She tries to roll out from under Brittany, but a knee traps her hip and she can't. She's gasping for breath between shouts and laughter. She doesn't want to laugh, because how lame is this? Getting tickled, letting Brittany see that she has this weakness, but she also can't deny the lightness spilling through her and collecting in her heart.

"Say uncle," Brittany whispers in her ear, her voice light and...twinkly.

"Never. Stop! Oh my god, Britt stop!" Santana starts to fight harder, because if she can just...gain...a little bit of control... She gets one hand around Brittany's forearm and one on her hip, and she forces all of her body weight into flipping Brittany over. It still takes a struggle, but soon she's on top and she's pinning Brittany's hands above her head. Brittany is grinning with a slightly evil look in her eyes.

"I'm never gonna forget that you're ticklish."

"You realize this means payback," Santana narrows her eyes down at the beauty below her.

"I'm not ticklish."

"Who said I had to tickle?" She smirks and leans down to attach her lips to Brittany's neck. It tastes so soft and so sweet, and she groans, letting the sound vibrate Brittany's skin. She can feel hips try to buck up to hers, but she lifts her own. She bites softly, then sucks on the spot under her lips. She sucks, and sucks, and licks; and she smirks into the skin of Brittany's neck as she listens to the girl moan. "Mmm, everyone's gonna see that...not sorry," she murmurs. She can hear and feel Brittany's breath getting choppier, and she lets the tip of her tongue trail along Brittany's neck until she finds the hollow of her throat. She licks a small circle while her thumbs gently massage the pulse points of Brittany's wrists.

"You were talking very dirty on the phone earlier," Santana whispers. "It wasn't nice." She drops her hips to Brittany's and gives the girl the connection she wants, but only for a moment. She lifts them up again. "Do you know how long it's been since I've gotten any?" Her lips move up Brittany's throat and she bites her chin softly before moving up and hovering lips over lips. "Do you know how many dreams I've had about fucking you since we met?" Her voice is raspier than ever now, because she's building herself up just as much as she is Brittany. She's burning hotter than ever, and she wants to just give in and take Brittany fast and hard. The long, drawn out moan against her lips just reminds her of her game and she smirks. Instead of kissing the lips that are desperately grasping for hers, she drags her mouth along Brittany's cheek to her ear. Her voice drops even lower. "Do you know how badly I've wanted to fuck _myself_ thinking about you?"

"Santana." The moan of her name is thicker and more needy than she has ever heard Brittany, maybe anyone, saying her name and she's shaking with want.

"I. Don't. Like. Being. Tickled."

"Ungh, Santana...just...god, please." Brittany is begging as her hips thrust up to Santana's, and it's all Santana can do to make herself resist. She slowly sits up and looks down at the woman beneath her. Dark blue eyes open to look up at her, and she feels guilt immediately at teasing Brittany, but Brittany had done the same already. In a way, Brittany has been teasing her and turning her insides into flames from the second they met.

She opens her mouth to say something, to possibly admit that she can't be honorable, that she can't keep her hands to herself, but a phone rings. Britney Spears is suddenly playing from somewhere on the floor, and Santana rolls off of Brittany and onto her back with a loud groan. Her breathing is heavy as she stares at the ceiling.

"Shit." Brittany gasps, and it sounds like she's trying to breathe again before the bed shifts and she's moving. Santana doesn't move her eyes from the ceiling, because she's pretty sure if she moves an inch she'll be attacking Brittany; phone call or not.

There are several beats of silence, of hard breath attempting to slow, before Santana hears Brittany's strained voice. "What, Sam?" Santana can't help but smirk to herself, because it sounds like the last thing Brittany wants to do is talk to her ex, and there's no way he can't hear it in her tone. She closes her eyes and tries her best to not listen, but...okay, yeah she is listening. She has to.

"It's late, what do you mean he's awake? ….yeah...yeah, okay. I know. Mmm, give me a second, okay?"

Santana turns her head now and she watches as Brittany takes the phone from her ear and wipes a hand over her face. Their eyes meet and Brittany looks so conflicted. The dark, hot color of her eyes are slowly dulling as though she's trying to cool down. Santana realizes this is about Jonah, and she knows she has to play fair. She sits up and pulls a hand through her hair to tame it, and she stops staring at Brittany as though she wants to ravish her on the spot.

Brittany seems thankful, because moments later she's bringing the phone back to her ear and moving to sit on the other bed. She tucks one foot under herself and brings her other knee up and hugs it. "Okay, put it on speaker." There's a short silence, then Brittany's face breaks into the brightest, sweetest grin Santana has ever seen. "Jo-Jo? Baby? Hi, honey, why aren't you sleeping? …I miss you too, but you have Daddy there."

Santana watches the wrinkles creep across Brittany's forehead, and she can see pain glint in those blue eyes she already adores so much. Brittany doesn't like being away from her son.

"Daddy said you want the moon song, will that help you sleep? ….I'll be home tomorrow, I promise..." The pink, sweet lips curl into a smile and Santana can't look away. She feels like she should, like she's intruding on some special family moment, but she can't tear herself away.

Every damn second is pulling her heart closer and closer to Brittany, and she doesn't know what she's supposed to do with it.

"I'm gonna put in on speaker so I can hear with both of my ears," Brittany says. She does that and holds the phone near chest level. "Okay...ready little man?"

"Moon," a tiny voice crackles over the line.

"Sam?"

"Ready," a deeper voice follows. And a moment later a guitar starts up, then the older voice starts to sing.

_Well, I'd like to visit the moon__  
__On a rocket ship high in the air__  
__Yes, I'd like to visit the moon__  
__But I don't think I'd like to live there_

Then Brittany joins in, and her voice, while not trained or professional, is sweet perfection to Santana's ears.

_Though I'd like to look down at the earth from above__  
__I would miss all the places and people I love__  
__So although I might like it for one afternoon__  
__I don't want to live on the moon_

Sam goes quiet, and Brittany sings the next part as her eyes rise to meet Santana's.

_I'd like to travel under the sea__  
__I could meet all the fish everywhere__  
__Yes, I'd travel under the sea__  
__But I don't think I'd like to live there_

Then again Sam joins in, and jealousy flairs through Santana, though she doesn't know why. It's too much. It's one of those happy little family moments, and that's not something she knows anything about or wants anything to do with. And she hates that Brittany has this with Sam and their son. (And does that make her a horrible person? Because it must.)

_I might stay for a day there if I had my wish__  
__But there's not much to do when your friends are all fish__  
__And an oyster and clam aren't real family__  
__So I don't want to live in the sea_

Brittany stops singing as Sam sings the next part, and her eyes still don't leave Santana's. They narrow slightly, and she frowns like she's studying Santana's face. As though she can see what Santana's thinking. But how can she possibly?

_I'd like to visit the jungle, hear the lions roar__  
__Go back in time and meet a dinosaur__  
__There's so many strange places I'd like to be__  
__But none of them permanently_

Santana has to look away, because there's something in that connection between herself and Brittany that she just doesn't want to acknowledge. She watches the flickering television, but all she hears is Brittany's soft voice as she takes on the next verse alone.

_So if I should visit the moon__  
__Well, I'll dance on a moonbeam and then__  
__I will make a wish on a star__  
__And I'll wish I was home once again_

Her eyes close, because then Sam is singing with Brittany again and she hates the song even more. (But she loves it, because it's beautiful, and the moment is beautiful, and Brittany is beautiful. And oh holy hell her heart is pounding with adoration for this woman even more. She wants to hear her sing to her son forever. She wants to watch Brittany hold the boy and sing to him and...where the hell is this all coming from?)

_Though I'd like to look down at the earth from above__  
__I would miss all the places and people I love__  
__So although I may go I'll be coming home soon__  
__'Cause I don't want to live on the moon_

_No I don't want to live on the moon._

The voices and guitar fade out and the bed sinks beside Santana. She looks over and finds Brittany's worried gaze flicker over her as the woman takes her hand. She lets her hand be held while she watches back.

"He's out, Britt," Sam's voice comes over the line. Santana hates him again. Maybe this is their moment – Brittany, Sam's, and Jonah's – but she feels like Sam is invading on _her_ moment. She watches Brittany hold her stare a moment longer before breaking it to fiddle with her phone and bring it back to her ear. She had turned the speaker off and now Santana can only hear Brittany.

"Call me again if he wakes up? ….I know you can handle it, but_ I_ can't handle the idea of him- ...okay. Okay, thank you...I'll see you tomorrow."

She hangs up the phone and those gentle blue eyes rise again to find Santana's. Santana wants to be looking away, looking anywhere else, but she can't.

"Sorry," Brittany murmurs. "He...he can't sleep sometimes, and..that's the only thing that-and I don't like when his dad tells me he's crying for me, and I can't-" Santana silences the blonde by cupping her face and leaning in to kiss her softly.

"Don't ever apologize for being a mom," she whispers against Brittany's lips. She can feel Brittany's face wrinkle slightly against her, and she can't bear to open her eyes and see her girl sad.

"I feel like a jerk when I leave him, and when Sam calls me and tells me Jonah's screaming...I just..."

Santana moves her lips lightly against Brittany's cheek. "Sssh...you're not a jerk. You are so far from a jerk..." She kisses that sweet spot below Brittany's ear and wraps her arms around her. "When I was little...when I couldn't sleep...do you know what my mom did?" She isn't sure why she's saying this, but she wants the sadness gone from this woman in her arms. She wants the brightness and happiness back, because any dark color looks terrible on Brittany. "Nothing. They let me cry myself to sleep so-so I could learn to take care of myself."

She feels Brittany pull back, but she keeps her eyes down because she just revealed far too much in such few words. Soft fingers curl against her cheeks and pull her face up, and she has no choice but to find those eyes again. Her head shakes and she holds in the tears that want to crop up, because she hates thinking about her childhood. She hates remembering sleepovers with Sugar when she would ask her friend to curl up with her because she didn't want to be alone for her nightmares. She pushes it all back and gazes into Brittany's eyes until all she's thinking of is Brittany and how amazing of a mother she is.

"Tell me about being his mom," she finds herself saying.

The words must take Brittany by surprise as much as they do Santana, because both sit silently for several minutes. After the long silence Brittany pulls Santana close and sinks back against the headboard of the bed. Santana lets herself curl up on the other woman and pushes away any silly thoughts of how she's not the snuggling type. She closes her eyes and listens to Brittany's heart beat beneath her shirt.

"Do you remember when you learned how to ride a bike? Like..without training wheels? It was kind of scary, but I also felt like...I could do it. It was nothing, and thrilling, and frightening all at once. I couldn't wait to be like the other kids who could do it, but I didn't want my dad to let go. I kept yelling 'okay, let go I can do it, I can do it' ...but I'd shriek and tell him not to let go. And...then he did. He let go and I was soaring. I was flying down the hill so fast and he was cheering me on, and I felt like the most powerful girl in the entire world..."

Santana chuckles slightly. "So being a mom is like riding a bike?"

"No...learning to be a mom is like that. I remember being so scared, feeling so alone...I'd never been good at much before, and I didn't know how I was going to do it alone. I wanted my mom to hold on, I wanted to hold on to her... I didn't know what was going to happen when I was on my own, flying down the hill...I had never been more scared in my life. But then I was laying in my bed in my parents house after we were released from the hospital and...it was just me and Jonah. I was trying to get him to nurse and he wouldn't latch on, and I wanted to cry because I felt...stupid. I felt like...like I'd mess it up like I do everything else..." Santana reaches around to grip onto Brittany's hand, and she brings it up to kiss her slender fingers lightly. She doesn't say anything though, she just lets the story continue.

"And just as I was about to call for my mom, I was crying...he took to me. He started to feed and...and I looked down at him, and...and he was mine. And I was providing for him in a way that no one else on earth could. And I had no training wheels, and no one was holding on...it was just me and Jo." Her voice gets softer and softer as the story goes, and the final words crack slightly. "It hasn't been perfect...it's...never been perfect or easy, and I mess up sometimes, but...when he looks at me I feel like the smartest, most important person in the world. And when I hold him...I...he...he's mine."

Santana tips her head up and opens her eyes, and she sees stormy eyes glistening with tears. "You...are so beautiful," she murmurs. She leans up slightly until their lips can find each other, and she kisses the blonde deep and slow. She's been wanting to get to know Brittany for so long, but even now, hearing her words, she feels like she already does. Her fingers move up to grasp those beautiful, soft blonde locks and she kisses Brittany until she can't breathe. She pulls away, a mere inches, and breathes out lightly against Brittany's mouth. "Are you sure you're real?"

There's a soft chuckle, but it fades. "This is," Brittany whispers back. "Right now. Nothing has felt this real since Jonah came into my life."

"I..." She wants to say something. She wants to tell Brittany how much she's already finding that she cares for the woman, she wants to tell her that it scares her. Anything. She just wants to say, reveal, anything. But she can't. She can't, because that fucking wall of steel – of titanium – rises inside of her and she remembers that weakness can only make her hurt more. She closes her eyes and severs they're holding. She waits. Waits until her breathing is normal, waits until she can pull away from the all too close moment, and she sits up. She runs a hand through her hair.

She doesn't look at Brittany.

* * *

The air in room lightened and they returned to their movie, but Santana hasn't been able to focus on it. She has Brittany curled up against her side and all she can do is listen to the slow, even breathing coming from the woman under her arm. And think. Fingers absentmindedly brush up and down Santana's arm, and the entire moment feels more relaxing than she's been in a very long time.

Eventually the credits roll, but neither woman moves. They stay in their spots, close, fingertips ghosting on each other's soft skin. Finally something weighing in the back of Santana's mind comes to her lips.

"Where was Sam?"

"Hmm?"

She glances down and sees Brittany's eyes are shut, but she seems fully awake. "Sam. You said...you were talking about how alone you felt having Jonah, but where was his dad then?"

Brittany noticeably stiffens and starts to sit up. She doesn't look at Santana as her gaze gets lost somewhere near a spot on the wall. "It was complicated. We were still living in separate towns and..." Her eyes close for a moment, but she opens them again and shakes her head. "It doesn't matter. He was there later. He's there now."

"He sounds like a tool to me," Santana mutters.

"Santana." Brittany's tone, that single word, is sharp and warning. She turns narrowed eyes on Santana and shakes her head once. "It's not...he's a great dad, okay?"

"Fine." She holds her hands up in surrender, because what does she know? She huffs a breath out and reaches out to pull Brittany back against her. "Sorry...I'm sorry, okay?"

"It's okay." The blonde sighs in her arms and curls up again. "I know how it sounds."

Santana brushes her fingers through Brittany's hair, because frankly she doesn't want to keep talking about Sam. It's pretty much the last thing she wants. "Do you wanna sleep?" She asks it in a murmur against the side of Brittany's head.

"Mmhmm. You're not going anywhere, right?"

"Not a chance in hell," Santana smirks. They both lift themselves up to get the covers down from underneath them, and Santana pulls them back up as they both settle down on the mattress. Brittany rests her head on Santana's chest and both sigh deeply.

"Let me know if you have any nightmares," Brittany teases softly.

* * *

They haven't been able to sleep though. Both have lay quiet in the dark, holding on to one another, for nearly an hour. Santana is sure they'll hear her friends knocking on the door soon as they come back from the club, but she doesn't care. They'll figure it out.

Brittany shifts against her and sighs. "Can I ask you something?" Her voice is scratchy from not talking for so long.

"Sure."

"Who was she?"

Santana tenses and squeezes her eyes shut tighter. "Who was who?"

"Titanium girl. The one that caused you to get that tattoo."

"Who said there was girl that caused it?"

"No one, I'm just really smart." Brittany shifts and pushes herself up on Santana's chest to look down at her, but Santana doesn't open her eyes to look back.

"Are we there already? The talking about exes stage?"

"I didn't know that was a stage..." Brittany's fingers start to pull slowly through Santana's hair. "I just want to know you. Plus we've talked about Sam."

She doesn't want to talk about it, she really doesn't. She never wants to talk about it. But there's just something about this woman, about the way Brittany makes her feel, that she thinks Brittany deserves something. She takes a deep breath and opens her eyes to find Brittany's. They're so warm and caring; gentle. Santana closes her own eyes again. "Becca. Her name was Becca. We met in college, it was...you know...great." She pauses, breathing deep again. "Apparently the relationship scared her more than me, because after a year and a half she told me she'd slept with someone else. She said she wasn't ready for 'us' and she broke up with me."

Santana is trying so hard to sound detached, to not think of how it had felt in that moment, how she had felt looking into Becca's eyes as that pain seared her heart. Brittany's soft touch on her cheek isn't helping. She clears her throat and shakes her head. Looking up at Brittany again she shrugs. "The end. At least she confessed and ended it instead of stringing me along."

"Honey..." The word is a whisper, but it screams through every inch of Santana's skin with how much she likes hearing it. Lips fall to her forehead. "That's just one girl." Brittany's statement sounds shaky, as though she's actually hurting for Santana.

"I know. Still screwed me up for awhile. Started partying and not paying attention to my classes, so I dropped out and did my own thing for awhile."

"There's nothing wrong with doing your own thing for as long as you need to," Brittany says gently. "I've always done my own thing. I mean, yeah, it makes people think I'm loopy...bu-uut.." She fades off with a goofy grin on her lips, and Santana can't help but laugh.

"You are loopy."

"You're beautiful," Brittany murmurs. She leans down to kiss Santana softly, and all Santana can do is thread her fingers against the back of her head and return the kiss. She doesn't know if this is happening fast, or if their entire month of wanting each other means everything is just falling into place, but...she likes it. She likes this and she likes Brittany, and she's trying her damnedest to not be afraid.

And there's a pounding on the door.

"Satan, let us in."

"By the hair of our chiny-chin-chins!" Rachel's voice echoes off into giggles.

"We are _so_ not sleeping in the hallway just so you can get your ladymack on," Sugar whines.

The women in the room dissolve into silent giggles, hands over each other's mouths to keep one another quiet.

"Really? You're going to make five of us sleep in one room when there's plenty of space in there?" The annoyance in Kurt's voice is only made stronger by the amount of alcohol he must have consumed.

"We're being really mean," Brittany whispers as she tries to stop laughing. "Let them in."

"Nuh-uh, they'll be fine." Santana flips them and drops down to kiss Brittany again, but nothing about it is soft or slow. Her fingertips trail down Brittany's chest and her stomach, and stop. When she finally releases Brittany's lips, she just smirks before raising her voice. "Mmm, Brittany. You're so hot..."

Brittany snorts and leans her head back, also raising her voice. "Oh god Santana! Yes! Right there," and she lets out a loud moan.

"Scream for me, baby," Santana follows loudly.

"Oh please!" Kurt slaps the door. "You forget I live with you, woman. I know what you sound like when- ...oh, sorry. No, so sorry. Yes, we'll keep it down. I promise...this isn't over, Santana."

And then silence.

Santana stays quiet, counting the seconds, and when her friends are clearly gone she and Brittany fall into laughter. Brittany eventually pulls Santana's face up where it had fallen on her shoulder and holds it in two hands. The heat in Brittany's eyes makes the laughter fade from Santana's lips and she stares back.

"Like you would really top me," Brittany says thickly.

* * *

**song:**_ I Don't Want To Live On The Moon - Sesame Street_ (youtube) /watch?v=ZawVNKJdSD0


End file.
